Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML
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Top comments
4everblackjack 10
Well then, I suggest checking into a very expensive hotel under his name/credit card >:D
2oc 5
That's just uncanny...
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Comments (122)
FalconWhitaker 20
... wow. That's... wow. That's a whole new level of inconsiderate and daft.
cookeemonster 7
I moderated this :)
firefighterjohn 9
now you have a reason to be late for work. call them and tell your boss that your dad took your keys with his keys by accident. I wouldn't try and explain to your boss he took your keys for a bottle opener. then your boss may not believe you.
Jigsaw2126 6
# blondemoment
MigraineurOfLife 15
Car rental in your dads name. Or, maybe he did it on purpose to keep you from driving. Just a thought!
FLCRACKERbaby 2
Well you know what to get him for his birthday now
iiFrench_Fries 5
Thats a 'Bitchh Ass Movee' lol. Usee his credit cardss >;)
tomtato 10
For his holiday he has your house keys, for everything else there's HIS mastercard :)
BloodFaerie 21
I voted FYL, BUT... I keep wondering what kind of lifestyle you lead that you have a bottle opener on your keychain.... do you need AA?
Attica 20
Really? Yes, owning bottle opener keychain -must- mean that the person uses it at a constant >.>
TheHezzer 17
Bottle openers are extremely useful, especially when you've lost any others, doesn't mean alcoholism. I always enjoy a bottle or two of beer after a long day working, and it's so much easier to grab a cold one from the fridge on my way in, and as I'll still have my keys in hand open it on the way to the sofa - not a problem! Plus, OP is from Scotland, a country famous for drinking a lot and one of many reasons I love it!!
devendarling 5
I drink Mexican coke (it doesn't have one of the ingredients American coke does that makes me sick) and I require a bottle opener for it. So, I carry one on my keychain because it's simple, and I drink them places besides home. I got a keychain one when I was at a radio station... they hand them out at places like concerts. Don't assume alcohol is a major factor... lots of people carry bottle openers.
Knarf_fml 10
Justin?