Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle... - FML

By Anonymous - 6/1/2010 21:15 - United Kingdom

Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38059

You deserved it

2780

Tweet

Share

Family values

All in the family

Live dumping

By loser - 20/5/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3582

You deserved it

591

Tweet

Share

By asdfasdf - 24/1/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44004

You deserved it

5903

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/10/2009 19:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39125

You deserved it

3259

Tweet

Share

By myanmarkaviar - 27/8/2015 16:34 - Norway - Fl?

Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27731

You deserved it

2037

Tweet

Share

By Username - 8/1/2011 07:01 - United States

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25792

You deserved it

44214

Tweet

Share

By mala_19 - 18/3/2020 20:14 - Sweden - Skellefte?

Follow the instructions

Today, I used a menstrual cup for the first time. When I took it out, a big chunk of dog hair came with it. I think I'm too grossed out to ever use it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1310

You deserved it

398

Tweet

Share

By solitaire - 20/7/2013 08:14 - United States - Enumclaw

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50063

You deserved it

8195

Tweet

Share

By Giraafe - 9/5/2016 17:53 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I got grounded because I didn't send my aunt a Mother's Day present. Not only is she not married she doesn't have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15019

You deserved it

1213

Tweet

Share

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/4/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41643

You deserved it

5228

Tweet

Share

By learntmylesson - 3/7/2010 04:15 - France

Today, I politely asked my friend if she would repay me the £20 she owes me. She shouted at me, called me an insensitive bitch, and refuses to pay me back as apparently she can't afford to. Her holiday to Italy next week begs to differ. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36119

You deserved it

3722

Tweet

Share

By JLD - 11/10/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33974

You deserved it

5093

Tweet

Share

By Useless Key - 2/9/2018 18:30

Today, my sister couldn't find the spare key I gave her for my apartment, so I had to pay a $50 fee to the leasing office. Not 30 minutes after paying, she found the key. In her purse. On her keychain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2923

You deserved it

296

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 22:26 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29267

You deserved it

3948

Tweet

Share

By buttpain - 11/1/2017 13:25

Today, being a snow day, I decided to take a nice nap before resuming cleaning my room. Changed back into pajamas, climbed into bed, and found that one of the cats peed on my sheets. I've made negative progress, and had my underwear soaked in someone else's cold urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5925

You deserved it

1017

Tweet

Share

By NiHao - 28/9/2009 03:16 - Canada

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32849

You deserved it

3824

Tweet

Share

By Godwhy - 17/9/2018 14:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me with my friend's 18-year-old sister, took her on the vacation we planned, and will be starting with my company next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3502

You deserved it

204

Tweet

Share

By footstuck - 13/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Winterville

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43409

You deserved it

12512

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Surprising

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1901

You deserved it

265

Tweet

Share

By burnbabyburn - 11/11/2015 17:47 - United Kingdom

Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24202

You deserved it

2101

Tweet

Share

By anon - 29/1/2015 18:32 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30078

You deserved it

2833

Tweet

Share

By why me? - 11/3/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40533

You deserved it

3338

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/3/2017 19:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, something in my shoe was bothering me at work. After about 30 minutes, I finally had a chance to fix it. There was a squashed lizard in my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4786

You deserved it

475

Tweet

Share

By NeedTea - 21/12/2018 06:00 - United States

Today i stopped at Starbucks to get a tea before work and was surprised that there wasn't a line. As i was leaving the automatic door closed knocking my out of my hand. I headed back in only to discover a huge line had formed and they made me pay for the replacement that their door spilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1865

You deserved it

699

Tweet

Share

By "mbrider" - 12/8/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6687

You deserved it

251

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/11/2012 05:19 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36816

You deserved it

5002

Tweet

Share

By TheComedyAudio - 6/4/2018 01:30

Today, I surprised my girlfriend of 3 years with Stone Sour and Korn tickets, since I knew how badly she wanted to go. She responded by asking if we could go as just friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4621

You deserved it

314

Tweet

Share

By How strange - 20/4/2013 12:02 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

I agree, your life sucks

61274

You deserved it

7276

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/9/2010 02:57 - United States

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8534

You deserved it

26099

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/10/2015 11:45 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my wannabe psychologist of a brother accused me of lying about all the violence and emotional abuse my ex inflicted on me, all because I went into "too much detail" when describing it, which he says is something only liars do. Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24469

You deserved it

1619

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/3/2015 03:02 - United States - Lake Forest

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38200

You deserved it

13808

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/12/2015 21:38 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21061

You deserved it

1564

Tweet

Share

By SkiMaskFukd - 7/5/2010 13:25 - United States

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43051

You deserved it

5778

Tweet

Share

By Keyser Soze - 17/1/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6525

You deserved it

993

Tweet

Share

By failphone - 7/1/2009 19:57 - United States

Today, I lost my third phone in a year. Making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9910

You deserved it

31359

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/9/2018 13:00

3spooky5me

Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2482

You deserved it

211

Tweet

Share

By Tasha84 - 20/11/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43753

You deserved it

4488

Tweet

Share

By fuundmental/// - 9/4/2011 05:46 - Australia

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43494

You deserved it

9913

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/6/2009 10:41 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

104376

You deserved it

7395

Tweet

Share

By poorgary - 18/12/2008 11:46 - France

Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35675

You deserved it

2678

Tweet

Share

By dan - 9/5/2012 20:10 - United States - Laurel

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24992

You deserved it

2123

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By kushi_fml | 1

#759341 - Thursday 7 January 2010 3:01

i believe it, ppl are so inconsiderate, just like the ones who are calling fake right now
you are probably the same ones who would not help a person in need and u know it
if u see someone who needs help, be a HUMAN and HELP THEM. fuken retards.

By iambatman123 | 0

#759201 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:43

As soon as your shoulder gets better kick the shit out of them :)

Comments

By devendra_fml | 0

#759162 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:33

you were walking in the middle of the road?

Reply

Incubuss | 0

#759179 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:38

Erm.. to cross the road?

Reply

evangldbrg | 0

#759653 - Thursday 7 January 2010 6:16

Why did the woman cross the road?
Fuck if I know, but if she was in the kitchen she wouldn't have gotten hurt to begin with

Reply

Reyo | 2

#759883 - Thursday 7 January 2010 9:46

She was walking across the street maybe?

Reply

NinjaKiller920 | 1

#886585 - Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:58

Yeah making me a damn samich

Reply

ambition10 | 0

#1809204 - Tuesday 7 December 2010 17:13

lol:p

Reply

bunniex1 | 11

#4884929 - Saturday 1 September 2012 15:36

Can panda has a sandwhich?

Reply

liinkinparkfan97 | 34

#6722900 - Thursday 15 December 2016 4:57

You ever thought that maybe OP was crossing the street?

By tomc666 | 0

#759164 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:34

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7570997 - Saturday 2 December 2017 17:57

Have you ever dislocated a joint? It’s not fun or pleasant, so the poster screaming from the pain doesn’t make him a fag at all.

By aguacomm | 0

#759169 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:34

first haha

Reply

Incubuss | 0

#759184 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:39

HAHA FAIL

Reply

Shit_happens_123 | 0

#759277 - Thursday 7 January 2010 2:16

asshole

Reply

liinkinparkfan97 | 34

#6722903 - Thursday 15 December 2016 5:00

You're not first and no one cares.

By Incubuss | 0

#759171 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:34

FYL! It's been really icy near me as well. Us British are not prepared for snow!

Reply

ThatWasPathetic | 0

#760770 - Thursday 7 January 2010 20:36

Exactly. People should read up on Kitty Genovese. Tragedy, that.

By Starfire22 | 5

#759191 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:40

:D Carrie theme event? Sounds like fun!

By iambatman123 | 0

#759201 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:43

As soon as your shoulder gets better kick the shit out of them :)

By Soulathyia | 0

#759205 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:44

Tommorow sit on your porch with a Nerf Gun (or a real gun) and shoot at everybody including people in cars. When they ask wtf you're doing tell them it's payback! Oh or throw Olive Oil all over the road and the sidewalk!

Reply

Shit_happens_123 | 0

#759280 - Thursday 7 January 2010 2:18

sweet revenge!!!

Reply

shadow455 | 2

#759967 - Thursday 7 January 2010 11:19

i bet ur american if gun is the first thing to come to mind and i bet the second thing is lawsuit

Reply

azhein | 0

#1246294 - Sunday 15 August 2010 16:41

the second thing was olive oil

By cel123456789 | 0

#759209 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:44

fake

Reply

neverStopLaughin | 0

#759211 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:45

how is it fake?!?!

Reply

Mr_Cool72 | 0

#759412 - Thursday 7 January 2010 3:42

soooo many things are fake.. where do you live? cause if its true your should move

Reply

8trickster8 | 0

#759596 - Thursday 7 January 2010 5:33

You're fake

By iLYo0xJOE | 0

#759221 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:49

That sucks!

By lyndis_fml | 0

#759226 - Thursday 7 January 2010 1:50

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

PumaFau | 0

#759301 - Thursday 7 January 2010 2:29

dislocating your shoulder is an intense pain you douche

Reply

rcloca | 10

#3400585 - Friday 7 October 2011 12:56

Says the one with no profile picture because he's to embarrassed of himself.