Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed...

By WestboroBC - United States

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

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7410

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Kids

DINOSAURS!!

Nice neighborhood

Supply and demand

By shit - United States

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

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29114

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1892

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By dramaqueen - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

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48948

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By uetlqdja - United States

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

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106475

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7143

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the foundation I've been using for the past month isn't normal foundation, its skin darkening foundation. I look like an oompa loompa from the neck up. It won't go away for another month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11816

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35695

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

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10197

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29323

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By Pill popping zit monster

Today, my period has given to me 4 giant zits, 3 screaming shits, 2 stomach ulcers, and a fever blister on my lips. A few days until Christmas and the gifts keep coming. FML

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7098

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636

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By Anonymous

Today, my wife who knows I am attracted to women with long hair -just like 95% of men-, instead of growing her hair long, she said she is going to stop being friends with any women who have long hair because she does not want me to be attracted to them. FML

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1591

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1633

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By _The__Doctor_ - United States - Venice

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

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42130

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3692

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By 303 - United States - Houston

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27754

You deserved it

2647

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By drunk - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

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8229

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

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63467

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By that guy

Today, I failed my driving test before even leaving the DMV parking lot. FML

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14610

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30859

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39491

You deserved it

2618

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By Boobs McGee

Today, I should probably throw out my old, torn dress as my boob popped out to say hello to a passing car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8910

You deserved it

2659

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By lonely - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14547

You deserved it

46415

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By fmmmmlll - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

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33076

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2430

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By battle1 - United States - Marietta

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

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30403

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4339

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By maharaja

Today, multiple people informed my girlfriend that I’m cheating on her. I’m not. FML

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1806

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By mmvv - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

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29320

You deserved it

3823

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By Anonymous - Canada - Sudbury

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30996

You deserved it

3148

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By turnedoff - United States

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

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34399

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5729

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By Parental Support - United States - Ellicott City

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

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43503

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2967

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

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23470

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44032

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By Anonymous

Today, I've been on the verge of throwing up all day. Why? My dog is intolerant to grain, but grain-free dog food causes heart problems so she can't have that. Now our lives are filled with nasty farts and Hershey squirts with no end in sight. It's a rough time for us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1315

You deserved it

253

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By Anonymous - 25/8/2020 14:00

Let it mellow

Today, my 5-year-old got carsick and lost his breakfast all over himself and the back seat. When I got home to clean him off and clean out the car, I discovered that construction workers hit a main water line while working on road expansion at the front of my neighborhood. We won’t have running water until 4 a.m. FML

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1474

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By ultraattitude - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31898

You deserved it

12548

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By vanorav - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

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26467

You deserved it

2233

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND...!" FML

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19987

You deserved it

2394

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By Anonymous - United States - Newtown Square

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

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21835

You deserved it

6902

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By Anonymous - Norway - Haugesund

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

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38424

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By lovergirl - United States - Orem

Off to a good start!

Today, I received an email from a potential employer with an awesome job opportunity. I was so excited, I immediately went to forward the email to my husband. My email included a lot of "I love you" and "we are going to celebrate tonight ;)". In my excitement, I hit reply instead of forward. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2908

You deserved it

1898

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45371

You deserved it

34896

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By ypsitucky - United States

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34566

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3006

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By Anonymous

What was the point?

Today, four years after my husband passed away, my mother in law thought it was the right time to tell me my husband was cheating on me, and that they had met her and everything. FML

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2696

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By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, I met my birth father for the first time. The first thing he told me was that if I ever get arrested, I should give him a call so his guys on the inside can look after me. I don't think there's going to be a second meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14864

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1701

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By Musicfreak - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16571

You deserved it

30679

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By gottacatchemall - United States

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

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66670

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28904

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By mohit

Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4545

You deserved it

342

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By andy - United States - Long Beach

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

43003

You deserved it

2823

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By hatemyjob - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, after working at the same place for 3 years, I found out that they are not only cutting my hours but now I have to take orders from some girl I trained because she was promoted over me. FML

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22401

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Top comments

By MUFC4EVER | 0

#90 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 9:31

karma's a b*tch

By PureGold | 0

#141 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 18:07

FAIL.
And you deserved it.

COMMENTS

By MUFC4EVER | 0

#90 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 9:31

karma's a b*tch

Bilbotitface | 2

#693470 - Sunday 29 November 2009 0:09

i wuz gonna send the exact comment ... great minds think alike XD

By PureGold | 0

#141 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 18:07

FAIL.
And you deserved it.

By xyeshi | 0

#1700 - Friday 13 February 2009 0:53

LOL i did that!!!
kid fell of its bike, i laughed and then 2 mins later took a horrid buckle

By LoLoLo_fml | 0

#1772 - Friday 13 February 2009 5:14

Hahahahaha, so deserved that! But you gotta laugh ay.

By ChaosChild | 0

#6286 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 5:55

So what did we learn?

By VexDraham | 0

#7847 - Thursday 26 February 2009 18:55

ROTFL! Thats great!

By Azbezzy | 0

#7985 - Thursday 26 February 2009 21:12

dude this guys a champ. love you

By D34DR3K0N | 0

#37342 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 14:58

fail sauce

By summer66_fml | 0

#41154 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 23:10

K.A.R.M.A.

By Shallow_Padentic | 0

#51388 - Monday 23 March 2009 2:08

1 and 11 so true. Karma is a bitch though. You kinda had it coming. still funny