Miscellaneous: Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to...

By lolographic24 - 13/02/2010 13:44 - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 335

You deserved it 4 137

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Same thing different taste

Slippery

By Dana - 29/01/2010 18:59 - United States

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 106

You deserved it 3 207

By Anthony Hathaway - 19/10/2018 13:30

Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 942

You deserved it 210

By badluckantonio - 25/08/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 036

You deserved it 3 030

By rholt - 14/01/2014 06:48 - United States - Baldwin City

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 464

You deserved it 8 085

By whoops - 29/06/2014 20:37 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 336

You deserved it 60 910

By KO: - 30/04/2014 04:20 - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 543

You deserved it 5 116

By Snowman - 24/01/2016 22:21 - United States - Harrisonburg

Today, I was shovelling snow out of my driveway and broke my shovel. So I tried cleaning the driveway with a garbage lid. That broke too. Now I'm out snow shovel, AND a garbage lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 886

You deserved it 4 804

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 780

You deserved it 21 616

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 18:00

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 126

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 290

rawr_iliketacos 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:20

i hate it when people don't use past tense.

Mx_Rider 6

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:21

LMFAO this fml is full of fail. from the moment you started typing to the part where you busted your damn nose :D

Comments

diegoz281 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 17:54

bad English?

blastvortex 3

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:01

Wopz. You should be more careful, OP.

kirky 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:09

did someone lick you so u climaxed and had passionate 3 way sex with 2 milfs that wear D size bras then u gave then oral and anal?

pepperandroses 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:09

YDI for not writing it in the past tense.

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:18

#64 u r soo right. YDI LEARN CORRECT ENGLISH!!!!!

I_hate_it_all 5

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:42

yea #68, 'cause your grammar is so great. I can see YOU use proper english.

JazzProphet 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:25

What is with everyone posting things that start in past tense and change to present tense after the first sentence?

kirky 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:37

number 63 sed it the best

xPGxTigerx19x 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:13

epic fail lol

hazza247 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:13

That happened to me aswell a week ago except coming in I stepped on a snail and got it all over my sock!

101Alex101 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:27

Sombody failed their English class

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Cars Family Relatable Kids Babysitter Thief Money Health Depression Mental health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Vacation Annoying Students Parenting Intimacy First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 387

You deserved it 7 198

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 776

You deserved it 5 102

The Top

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 658

You deserved it 5 632

Today, I called in about a job application I put in over a week ago. Apparently, the branch of the company that I applied to was never given my information, and the position was filled days ago. I've been checking the status of the position online daily, and it still says that it's open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 241

You deserved it 907

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 451

You deserved it 7 649

Today, it seems my husband didn't realize that "Office Space" is just a movie and began to act like the characters in a pathetic attempt to, "stand up to the establishment!" Perhaps he also didn't realize that attempted arson is considered a federal crime. The bail is $20,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 275

You deserved it 434

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 900

You deserved it 7 734

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 707

You deserved it 1 779

Same thing different taste

Slippery

Toot toot!

I don't know my strength

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