Miscellaneous: Today, it seems my husband didn't realize that "Office Space"...

By Filingfordivorce - 18/05/2017 16:00

Today, it seems my husband didn't realize that "Office Space" is just a movie and began to act like the characters in a pathetic attempt to, "stand up to the establishment!" Perhaps he also didn't realize that attempted arson is considered a federal crime. The bail is $20,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 284

You deserved it 440

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Same thing different taste

Contempt

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 06:00

Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 207

By hanmart - 15/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 459

You deserved it 2 642

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 254

You deserved it 268

By fleetingmemories - 29/11/2013 23:55 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 034

You deserved it 4 328

Wingnut

By Anonymous - 29/06/2022 06:00

Today, my son actually tried to get out of being arrested by claiming he was “an agent” and unless they let him go, his employers “from the government” would come looking for him and there would be “consequences”. The officers eventually got their breath back from laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 194

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 14 501

By jillie minaj - 09/07/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 099

You deserved it 61 260

Pranksters

By dan - 09/05/2012 20:10 - United States - Laurel

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 183

You deserved it 2 180

Scammed

By Username - 04/08/2011 09:15 - United States

Today, my twit of a husband admitted to falling for an internet scam involving a dead foreign politician, the promise of a share in millions of dollars currently stuck in a bank, and him having wired a large amount of our money to "bribe an official". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 795

You deserved it 4 921

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 499

You deserved it 3 387

Druu 53

Thursday 11 May 2017 8:29

A divorce lawyer should be cheaper than that. Make the right decision.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 18 May 2017 16:57

This is why acting out scenes from movies in real life is a bad idea.

Comments

Druu 53

Thursday 11 May 2017 8:29

A divorce lawyer should be cheaper than that. Make the right decision.

J352SAURUS 30

Thursday 18 May 2017 16:28

Hence the name, "Filingfordivorce". Good on you OP.

Nnzyb 8

Thursday 18 May 2017 16:10

Sorry to hear about your soon-to-be-ex-husband. While it's never fun to see a loved one suffer for their stupidity, I appauld your brave decision and firmly believe you'll be better off in the long run. I've watched a good friend stick by their SO while they were in and out and back in prison and when she finally left him, she found an amazing new partner! But that's not to say being single afterward isn't healthy so you can recover. Best of luck!

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 18 May 2017 16:16

That will cost him a lot of flair! Maybe they'll even take away his Swingline stapler.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 18 May 2017 16:57

This is why acting out scenes from movies in real life is a bad idea.

Lucky O'Guin 18

Thursday 18 May 2017 17:10

The first thought that crossed my mind was, "You deserve it for being married to an idiot." Sorry, OP, I calls 'em how I sees 'em.

jessicasoho 13

Thursday 18 May 2017 17:10

Thankfully he doesn't watch Game of Thrones. Insect, prostitution, nudity, beheadings, murder and attempted murder of a child happens in just the first episode.

Misoranomegami 16

Thursday 18 May 2017 17:22

He's going to insect anyway. Sounds like she's telling him to buzz off!

Lostangel703 9

Sunday 21 May 2017 9:44

yea we wouldn't want him to commit insect..... that's an awful crime

WTF STFU 3

Thursday 18 May 2017 17:16

And we wonder why there are disclaimers and don't try this at home be glad he did not go see deadpool, You are much better of without someone that stupid.