Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my birthday, I once again had to remind my best friend of this fact, like I have every year for the past 20 years. FML
Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I stumbled across my school bully on Facebook. She's a successful business owner and engaged to be married. I can't land a job and am hopelessly single. The b***h that served as the catalyst for my depression and suffered no repercussions is getting married on my birthday. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
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Top comments
TheEpicFoo 0
That's one determined bully.
worldcupcheer17 0
call the cops he's a creepy ass stalker lmao
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Comments (390)
sykokitti 15
Bully beatdown? Duh!!
sykokitti 15
Bully beatdown? Duh!!
1pbunny08 3
OMG!!! U HAVE A STELIO KONTOS! Lol real life family guy moment lol.
katt_is_here 24
*American Dad actually.
koryman101 1
rofl. you must he a total pussy middle aged ****** to still be picked on. grow some ******* balls
jewelsfml 0
how sad
katt_is_here 24
At least the OP can take solace in the fact that this guy clearly has no life whatsoever if he does this every year for over 10 years. He probably serves the OP burgers and fries and is jealous that the kid he picked on is more successful than he could ever be. Or maybe the reason he bullied the OP is because he secretly has homoerotic feelings for him that he has had to suppress or something...either way, worry not, OP. The guy is obviously a loser.
onefinemess 11
You know you can get him thrown in jail for that.
mike410 0
Get a heater and pop his ass...stop being a pussy
suckmysarcasm 10
..and that's when you say you can do the same to his mom ; p
easton222 2
Bust a cap in his ass