Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my birthday, I once again had to remind my best friend of this fact, like I have every year for the past 20 years. FML
Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I stumbled across my school bully on Facebook. She's a successful business owner and engaged to be married. I can't land a job and am hopelessly single. The b***h that served as the catalyst for my depression and suffered no repercussions is getting married on my birthday. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
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Top comments
TheEpicFoo 0
That's one determined bully.
worldcupcheer17 0
call the cops he's a creepy ass stalker lmao
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Comments (390)
Sansa_fml 38
start calling him on his birthday and ask if he's finally growing up.
spookyspider 9
Sorry about him op, he's pathetic and needs to move on... My advice to you? Buy a gun.
MistyKittyx 25
I can't believe people like those exist.
RPAK198 9
I swear i tapped "you deserve it" by accident
xXTrollzayaXx 7
get a restraining order
gatorgirl7563 22
Get him arrested for stalking. Call the newspaper on a slow day so they can show it and get him fired from his work. Sue him for emotional pain and suffering. That's so messed up that, frankly, I feel like you should just give the cops a friendly FYI about this guy because there's probably an uncaught serial killer operating in his area.
HDR 19
What the hell, call the cops on him!! He has no right to threaten you
Kelnyquist 22
Get a warrant
Samantha Kolodychuk 4
At this point I feel like I would. Just congratulate him on his determination O.. O