Today, it's the 6th day that we have been snowed in. We haven't...

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 103

Spicy

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 86

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 112

16/01/2017 22:00

Today, it's the 6th day that we have been snowed in. We haven't left the house, because we can't. I've done at least 30 hours of Legos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 945

You deserved it 630

Hiding from the drama

Empathy lives

You tried

20/04/2011 15:25

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 4 716

No Chick-Hating on Easter!

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 19:00

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend of 13 years. He broke up with me because "Chicks can't propose, that's gay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 311

You deserved it 703

20/09/2018 05:00

Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 517

You deserved it 318

08/03/2009 21:02

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 471

You deserved it 19 248

02/01/2012 20:55

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 671

You deserved it 36 704

09/12/2014 22:39

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 719

You deserved it 4 036

03/06/2018 01:30

Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 819

You deserved it 431

Comedy gold

By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 290

16/11/2017 23:00

Today, I went to work feeling great. I'd just paid off my student loans and was planning a trip to see friends in Italy. I left work unemployed because a fraud case I exposed 3 years ago got the company sued for slander. It was thrown out because everything was fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 710

You deserved it 332

19/01/2012 12:17

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 335

You deserved it 2 303

03/03/2012 16:12

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 848

You deserved it 31 713

12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 781

You deserved it 256

29/05/2019 04:13

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger, because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 437

Tracked

By bitch - 27/08/2020 08:02

Today, I noticed that on the calendar in my boyfriend’s apartment, for every week of the months when I have my period are coloured in red and over them, in block capitals, he has written 'BEWARE'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 708

23/08/2015 13:45

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 117

You deserved it 1 891

17/07/2011 07:00

Today, while I was waitressing, two girls ran up a tab of $60 in drinks. They ended up not paying the bill and walking out. My boss told me it won't be the first time or last, as he made me pay their bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 837

You deserved it 3 288

11/09/2016 05:52

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 129

You deserved it 1 067

26/02/2010 05:07

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 339

You deserved it 4 290

03/06/2015 06:03

Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 107

You deserved it 1 996

18/09/2013 14:53

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 663

You deserved it 18 694

01/02/2016 23:11

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 163

You deserved it 12 062

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 14/08/2021 17:00

Today, I'd been talking to this girl for 3 months, and she finally agreed on a date. We got drinks and food, then she said, "I'm just going to the bathroom", then never came back, and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 102

23/05/2015 14:50

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 692

You deserved it 1 982

16/08/2012 09:57

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 104

You deserved it 2 790

09/08/2016 20:58

Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 805

You deserved it 2 833

13/05/2015 02:11

Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 394

You deserved it 2 480

08/10/2015 02:31

Today, I found out I'm allergic to mosquito repellent. I fly out on a two month trip to India on Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 552

You deserved it 2 274

31/08/2018 13:00

Today, while sleeping as soundly as I could on a plastic mattress, the night shift nurse in the psych ward woke me up in the middle of the night so that I could take my sleeping pill, which was prescribed as "if needed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 070

You deserved it 176

20/05/2012 05:19

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 548

You deserved it 2 537

03/05/2017 22:00

Today, my cat thanked me for buying her a new litterbox by peeing in all of my plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 133

You deserved it 596

12/05/2012 14:42

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 380

You deserved it 5 799

22/02/2010 05:02

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 743

You deserved it 2 807

14/05/2011 10:43

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 251

You deserved it 14 161

05/04/2014 04:04

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 680

You deserved it 3 422

06/02/2010 20:01

Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 5 438

07/02/2014 04:48

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 890

You deserved it 17 722

25/06/2010 06:44

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 541

You deserved it 27 458

14/05/2016 05:53

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 989

You deserved it 1 269

Stress factor 11

By Jonoq - 04/10/2019 16:00

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 109

27/10/2018 17:30

Today, my girlfriend's homophobic cousin claimed she saw me making out with my gay friend in public. I was home alone all day, but my girlfriend is crying and unconvinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 397

You deserved it 146

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Top comments

organizse 28

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Monday 16 January 2017 22:03

Are you a master builder yet?

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 16 January 2017 22:05

Is this site FML or Fantasy Island?

Comments

organizse 28

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Monday 16 January 2017 22:03

Are you a master builder yet?

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 16 January 2017 22:05

Is this site FML or Fantasy Island?

WallyQ 18

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Monday 16 January 2017 23:20

Sounds like a perfect way to spend time off...

tipsyone 21

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Monday 16 January 2017 23:24

So what's wrong?

samwilliams800 28

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Monday 16 January 2017 23:30

Nothing wrong with legos

jcash52426 5

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Tuesday 17 January 2017 0:01

Legos are cool embrace your inner child and build something big and cool looking.

carey2 0

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Tuesday 17 January 2017 0:11

How is that FML Legos rock....

cacheson 41

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Tuesday 17 January 2017 0:16

That sounds pretty awesome to me! I'd like to spend some time doing nothing but building Legos...

Chazzster 22

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Tuesday 17 January 2017 1:32

Doe not sound like a problem to me!

jjandrus 4

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Tuesday 17 January 2017 2:49

Can't say you deserved it, it can't agree your life sucks either ?