Intimacy: Today, it's the 6th day in a row my roommate has not left our...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Normal

Today, it's the 6th day in a row my roommate has not left our dorm room. I miss jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 862

You deserved it 1 117

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Same thing different taste

By NoTalkAllGame - 27/01/2015 16:12 - United States - Horsham

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 935

You deserved it 2 938

Gross

By Sticky floor - 27/07/2018 05:00

Today, my best friend and roommate has decided to "stop being controlled by society" while at home. This involves him walking around naked, masturbating whenever he wants, and not cleaning up his guys. I've stepped in it three times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 877

You deserved it 389

Pleasant smell

By Anonymous - 10/12/2019 01:00

Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 924

You deserved it 194

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 409

You deserved it 3 138

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 128

You deserved it 5 190

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 15:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 168

You deserved it 3 175

By Anonymous - 05/12/2015 03:55 - United States - Portland

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 383

You deserved it 1 712

By leez - 01/02/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 094

You deserved it 1 843

By shittysituation - 05/01/2015 06:27 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 547

You deserved it 3 134

By flimflam - 02/09/2010 17:39 - United States

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 773

You deserved it 3 865

mamallama22 9

Wednesday 29 March 2017 14:02

Shower buddy :)

Konarika 11

Wednesday 29 March 2017 14:31

There's no bathroom or anything? Even if you can't have any privacy, not masturbating for a few weeks won't kill you

Comments

mamallama22 9

Wednesday 29 March 2017 14:02

Shower buddy :)

Konarika 11

Wednesday 29 March 2017 14:31

There's no bathroom or anything? Even if you can't have any privacy, not masturbating for a few weeks won't kill you

species4872 19

Wednesday 29 March 2017 18:57

Unless you're 4 years old.

species4872 19

Wednesday 29 March 2017 18:59

For ***** sake, can you's fix it so replies go under the correct comment?

Lady_Spaghetti 36

Wednesday 29 March 2017 14:32

Do you not shower?

azouwa 26

Wednesday 29 March 2017 14:42

I wonder if he is thinking the same thing about you...

sousaphonist 14

Wednesday 29 March 2017 15:19

You got a good imagination? Go to the bathroom, let your favorite porno play in your head, do it there.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 29 March 2017 15:43

1. Check into a hotel 2. Jack off 3. Put your pants back on 4. Tell the front desk that you saw a rat in your room. 5. Get a refund and leave.

neverfind 20

Wednesday 29 March 2017 21:27

XD Smart

raihothunder15 3

Friday 31 March 2017 6:43

That's good one! ?

mattrd_fml 31

Wednesday 29 March 2017 16:17

Try the bathroom?

kisapupcutie 7

Wednesday 29 March 2017 17:29

just jack off in front of them maybe then they will leave lol its your room too

daengh 15

Wednesday 29 March 2017 22:37

...and hold eye contact while you're doing it...

HoboMeth 33

Wednesday 29 March 2017 18:46

Mark your territory

Duke_caleb 7

Wednesday 29 March 2017 19:58

Ever heard of a bathroom?

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Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 473

You deserved it 5 311

Today, I went to a bone and joint specialist because of excruciating back pain. Before the examination, the doctor told me that the possible reasons for the pain could be arthritis, sciatica, or scoliosis. After the examination, I found out that I have all three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 828

You deserved it 249

The Top

Today, I didn't get my driver's license, even though I didn't make any mistakes because my examiner said it was only my first time taking the exam, so it wouldn't matter if I failed. Now I have to pay another €240 for a second exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 860

You deserved it 179

Today, because the policy "no shirt, no shoes, no service" doesn't mention pants, my friends got the hilarious idea to walk into a store with no pants on. I tried to be reasonable and say they would get arrested, but they called me a "chicken" and did it anyway. Take a wild guess what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 214

Today, my son asked me if a video of a flame on a computer actually gives off heat like a fireplace. He was serious. He's 17 and inexplicably has straight A's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 150

Today, I was in a car accident while driving to my brother's school to drop off some documents that he had to bring in, and forgot at home. While not even driving at 20 km/h, I started drifting on an icy spot. I hit a road sign and my car fell into a ditch. I probably have a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 116

Today, I thought I was being a good worker by showing a mother and daughter several rooms before they settled on one. Turns out Mommy dearest only wanted a place for her brat to throw a party. The cops found alcohol, drugs, and guns. This from the people who complained about a loose chair arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 968

You deserved it 1 113

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 125

You deserved it 48 074

Same thing different taste

Gross

Pleasant smell

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