Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML
Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
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Top comments
lexeous 4
At least you got to gaze upon her beautiful face, you cretin.
ImaginaryFoe 0
So you got to cuddle with your gf all night. That's not so bad in itself and I'm sure she was appreciative of the gesture. BTW, if she's willing, it's not like you can't have sex when she's on her period.
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Comments (200)
lexeous 4
At least you got to gaze upon her beautiful face, you cretin.
ricerboy 0
Possibly stare at her with your profile pic?
lexeous 4
Your comment makes literally no sense. Please leave my thread, peasant.
lexeous 4
Maybe the peasant part wasn't exactly necessary. Sorry.
Psych101 9
13- Gasp! The peasants have gained literacy! This marks the day where the landed gentry will be overthrown!
tjv3 10
Well you probably scored massive brownie points that will pay off in the end
lexeous 4
Thank you, 39, for the incredibly insightful and relevant comment made as a response to mine. A true intellectual is in our midst.
MDTeddy 13
Keep her warm.
jojimugo 20
He got some major brownie points for that
SenselessPattern 12
1, your profile pic is PATRICK and you're talking about intellect? Intellect + Patrick != Brain Functions, no matter how much you want it to, you cretin. Also wouldn't hurt to stop policing 'your' thread. Mods are on the case, always. Though usually they don't care about things like that.
HiddenValley 5
lexeous... I see you are quite the dick.
Sexy_Kisses14 8
She could still give u head...
sissycullen 4
108- Oh hell no.
kofeinisti 6
I'm sure you'd be equally happy just going down on a girl and just cuddling after she's finished... Oh wait, no girl would take you even if it was just to pleasure her! Grow up.
pulse18 2
If for some reason my dick wasn't sexually functional for a week, I would totally still please my girl. It's the selfless thing to do. But luckily I'm a guy and this isn't the case.
logan1819 4
You are beautiful! Just thought I would let you know 113
p3mguin 7
No sex for you then, Isn't that a damn shame...
Osito2011 9
There's alway a opportunity for op to earn his red wings
p3mguin 7
So you took the comment that was 15 comments in head of yours. Changed it around. Then put it as a response to mine... Good work.
ygdrassil 17
The way she worded it, it sounded like she wanted sex. I can understand his disappointment when he realized he wouldn't be getting any.
Trisha_aus 15
Speaking of sex and shame..has anyone seen Shame? The brilliant film with Fassbender..ah it isn't really relevant..**** it.. Cheers
p3mguin 7
No look at 4 he obviously took that, and worded it differently. Don't call me a bitch, when you are sticking up for one.
jenflo 1
Hopefully she was glad anyway :)
jenflo 1
Hopefully she was pleased to see you anyways! Or did you see red?
fluorescentadole_fml 8
it's sad for her that her boyfriend wouldn't go to see her if he wasn't going to get sex
downtime 12
95, Assuming there were the proper channels of communication here I think he's got every right to be annoyed that his girlfriend would lead him on, make him travel a long distance in the middle of the night, and then cockblock him upon arrival. And yes, if she wasn't offering an incentive he wouldn't drag his ass out late and take the long trip just so he could lay next to her. He would wait until another time at an appropriate hour...because being apart for the night is not an issue.
RedPillSucks 31
Time to earn your redwings
ChrisTheCalm 9
Yeah I was thinking the same thing, if the girl I love texted me that in the middle of the night I'd be excited to just to be next to her, sex or not.
LittleGreenPaola 23
I agree with you. He's probably one of those guys who thinks with the dick.
dougiewhale 6
A little blood never hurt nobody
laden_swallow09 34
162- Yeah, it did. It's called HIV.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
A real pirate sails the red sea?
Malkria 1
"We need to work on our communication skills". - Will Smith 'Independence Day'
tootall2breathe 8
That is the best response I've heard on here nice one.
ImaginaryFoe 0
So you got to cuddle with your gf all night. That's not so bad in itself and I'm sure she was appreciative of the gesture. BTW, if she's willing, it's not like you can't have sex when she's on her period.
LadyGore 12
Shower times in the middle of the night? Ps, water (usually) temporary stops period flow. If you are comfortable with that, anyways.
tripleshame 3
A true pirate isn't afraid to sail in the Red Sea.
TheMathMajor 26
Oral sex is also a viable option.
pinkduc2 12
47- Since when does water stop period flow..?
ALpein 0
^ Seems like someone doesn't shower...
vocaloidtiger 12
125 - Who said 114 was a girl?
LittleGreenPaola 23
Oh, please. It looks like a crime scene once you finished. That's disgusting
delicious69 5
That's ******* hilarious
TheDrudgeChild 4
True. I mean, really... It's just blood. Considering how many other fluids you exchange in sex, there's not much difference in the overall gross factor.
horneyhic 15
When the Red river's a flowin take the dirt road
Malea_the_wise 8
Like all the time thats why when you showed u do g bleed as much DUH
brennaaa13 11
If you're bottom half is under water it stops it, but showers don't.
hiiamahuskey 19
Are you even female?
redheadedasian 2
Boo-fuckety-hoo.
domking1315 20
Im sorry but my mind read this in an unimpressed tone cause of your picture
Longshott 4
Most appropriate reply... Ever
mrsmirk 8
Yeah, wow *smacks OP upside the head.. that's for being selfish and for not appreciating a good cuddle. Also love the word "boo-fuckity-hoo" Ima use it too AND haha #136 said "ass coming"
Dcm210 19
atleast your there for her.
berichsoon 11
At least you are there for her
Alphakhiash 13
Least there you for her are at.
GodsLittleMistak 8
It's not all about sex,just make your girlfriend some tea and cuddle her,she'll be grateful,trust me.
jajababa 3
Sweet best thing ever to do
WiseGuy79 14
Next time get her to be more specific about which body part she actually needs! Haha