Work and Money: Today, I caught a lady attempting to steal a watermelon by putting...

By assassinmaster - 30/06/2018 15:00

Today, I caught a lady attempting to steal a watermelon by putting it in her shirt. When I confronted her, she claimed to be pregnant and threatened to sue me and the store for discriminating against mothers. Nice try, but the watermelon fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 740

You deserved it 257

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Same thing different taste

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 866

You deserved it 3 601

By jesuscrip - 18/02/2016 06:08 - United States - Orrville

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 760

You deserved it 1 460

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 6 420

By Anonymous - 03/04/2017 00:00

Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 309

You deserved it 629

Crime doesn't pay

By honest mistake! - 21/07/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I was humiliated, detained, and questioned by police when I tried to leave a store with an unpaid item. I honest to God didn’t see the item because it'd slid under my toddler daughter's leg while she sat in the basket. The store refused to believe me, even when I tried to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 160

Get back here!

By ireallylikecats - 22/04/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 305

You deserved it 2 600

By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 20:09 - United States

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 650

You deserved it 14 680

By WesJaz - 08/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 535

You deserved it 4 469

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 1 805

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 3 011

real life problems 26

Saturday 30 June 2018 15:02

Did she yell "my water broke!" when the watermelon fell out?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 17 June 2018 20:03

You should have put her outside your store in a watermelon costume, holding a sign. Apparently, it's all the rage these days.

Comments

Steve Knight 13

Sunday 17 June 2018 6:06

I would ask if the father was a alien after that miscarriage

real life problems 26

Saturday 30 June 2018 15:09

Are you suggesting that a watermelon and a woman can't have a baby together?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 17 June 2018 20:03

You should have put her outside your store in a watermelon costume, holding a sign. Apparently, it's all the rage these days.

Project71 16

Wednesday 4 July 2018 5:52

HOW ARE YOU EVERYWHERE!

real life problems 26

Saturday 30 June 2018 15:02

Did she yell "my water broke!" when the watermelon fell out?

Ozzlik Bombhammer 3

Monday 2 July 2018 23:46

no but she did yell "my baby, my baby!" This same story was on notalwaysright.com

acmariner99 25

Saturday 30 June 2018 15:16

Who or what did that lady have sex with to give birth to a watermelon?

John Nemeth 14

Saturday 30 June 2018 15:45

Out all the things to steal she tries to steal one of the biggest fruits... Aren’t they like five dollars? FFS people steal a tv or a computer that way you can sell it and get a couple months worth of watermelons. I do not condone stealing FYI...

tounces7 27

Sunday 1 July 2018 1:36

I don't condone stealing either, but I condone stupidity even less.

WeirdUS 29

Sunday 1 July 2018 15:17

Wow. At that point I'd hate to condone it but if they are that hungry I"d buy it for her.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 30 June 2018 15:51

Theft of that sort is considered a... ...wait on it... melon-y!

Spiritbird 17

Saturday 30 June 2018 16:05

That's hilarious but I don't see the FML in this.

StagGT 13

Saturday 30 June 2018 16:46

It's more like an FHL

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Saturday 30 June 2018 18:23

OP had to put up with this idiot shouting. Well, until the watermelon fell out, at least.

ViviMage 39

Saturday 30 June 2018 19:55

You are assuming her species?? Don't you know these millennials are my always human or their birth assigned gender? What is she really aligns as being a male seahorse that is pregnant with watermelon babies?? She should try stealing the melons in her bra instead.