Intimacy: Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over...

By Username - 05/08/2011 14:05 - United States

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 239

You deserved it 69 716

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 120

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 136

You deserved it 2 594

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 092

You deserved it 5 424

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 741

You deserved it 44 808

Damn, son

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 20:24 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 348

You deserved it 4 189

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 140

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 683

You deserved it 534

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 289

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 077

You deserved it 3 241

By myparentsarehoes - 03/08/2009 16:33 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 349

You deserved it 5 774

Epsilonyx 15

Friday 5 August 2011 18:50

...well done, my friend. Well done.

Weetart 8

Friday 5 August 2011 18:50

ohhh you deserved to be there in the brawl.

Comments

chewbeccaz 0

Friday 5 August 2011 18:49

This isn't an FML.

i_l_y143 0

Friday 5 August 2011 18:49

how is that an fml?

Weetart 8

Friday 5 August 2011 18:50

ohhh you deserved to be there in the brawl.

seanders 10

Friday 5 August 2011 18:59

Muahaha. Should've screamed "dance puppets dance!" on your way out.

SirObvious 1

Friday 5 August 2011 19:08

Who fights over *********** ?

kiran_fml 5

Friday 5 August 2011 19:09

This reminds me of Mean Girls when Regina is watching everyone fight around her

woody768 0

Friday 5 August 2011 19:10

How is this an FML you got away with hardly a scratch didn't you?

i_am_evil 7

Friday 5 August 2011 19:10

Isn't this like, the opposite of F your Life? Like "HoorayMyLife" I escaped a barfight, yaaaaaay!

WesleyTucker545 5

Friday 5 August 2011 19:17

lol the puppet master

Epsilonyx 15

Friday 5 August 2011 18:50

...well done, my friend. Well done.

genesisnirvana 11

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

That takes a special kind of skill

Sithis23 0

Friday 5 August 2011 18:51

So how exactly is your life f'ed??

your_ma 27

Friday 5 August 2011 18:51

How is this FYL..?

yourlifesfucked 0

Friday 5 August 2011 18:51

So HOW is this an FML? OP quit your bitching and learn to not be a dumbass. You're lucky you didn't get someone killed.

mikentrigger 4

Friday 5 August 2011 18:52

This sounds more like bragging than a FML.

gilstrap23 3

Friday 5 August 2011 18:52

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

raphanne_fml 33

Friday 5 August 2011 18:53

And this is an FML because... ?

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You deserved it 97

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I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 149

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I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 204

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I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 87

Today, I was developing film at Walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking my sweatshirt off. A creepy old man approached me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 585

You deserved it 4 343

Same thing different taste

Demon drink

Damn, son

You're grounded!

Fun for all the family

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