By Anonymous - 15/09/2017 06:00

Spicy
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
I agree, your life sucks 6 484
You deserved it 2 090

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Now that you’ve gotten over that hurdle, you’re halfway to eating placenta. There’s a newly single girl who’s into that.

So what? If you trust her and know her enough to know she isn't HIV+ and doesn't have Hep C, a little blood won't hurt you. Have you ever eaten a rare steak? You are more likely to get sick from that.

Comments

So what? If you trust her and know her enough to know she isn't HIV+ and doesn't have Hep C, a little blood won't hurt you. Have you ever eaten a rare steak? You are more likely to get sick from that.

Hate to break it to you but thats not blood. It's like blood but it's not blood. It's a mixture of water and a protein called myoglobin, whose purpose is to help ship oxygen to muscle cells. I'm a carnivore. I know these things.

Except the fact that it's not really comparable - the red meat juice from a rare steak isn't blood but myoglobin, and you're not more likely to get sick from it - you've got a higher chance of getting sick from ingesting blood from another person than eating a steak that has been cooked, where the surface has been properly seared - you won't find as many harmful pathogens inside the meat, as you would in "raw" blood

You do understand the point of a woman's menses, right? I'm just saying.

Yeeeeah, the stuff that comes out of a woman's uterus during her menstruation? That's not just blood. It's blood, tissue, and bacteria, all of which has started to rot by the time it actually passes the cervix. It can also have full blown bacteria or fungal infections. If the "period" is actually a very early miscarriage- which happens pretty commonly in cases where they aren't far a long enough to even know they are pregnant- that comes out with the rest of it. In other words, very little in common with rare steaks.

Wow. You're a fucking idiot. Are you vegan by any chance?

Simply put. Rip!

stuffy nose?

Now that you’ve gotten over that hurdle, you’re halfway to eating placenta. There’s a newly single girl who’s into that.

I like your reference to a previous FML.

Thank you for your kind words. :)

Callback to previous FML post, FTW!

Colonel Sanders is spinning in his grave, projectile vomiting — it looks like a lawn sprinkler.

YallDeservedItJk 22

So, how was it? Salty?

Yo, wtf. I made a submission nearly identical to this, but it was denied or turned down

you probably forgot to format it correctly with "today" and "FML" at beginning and end, or it had typos. bummer if someone else stole it.

They automatically add the "today" and the "fml."

if you delete it from the text box, they don't re-use it.

I guess Buffy was slayed by the vampire this time...

Sucks to find out you ain't that great at fingering, it's just blood.

Nope. It's tissue and bacteria too. Maybe even a miscarried baby.

thehaystackerine 20

I've eaten my wife out during her period.