Geek: Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her....

By why me - 22/05/2011 23:09

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 728

You deserved it 36 967

Geek

Batman

Marriage going well is it?

Drugs are bad, well, some of them

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 564

You deserved it 53 721

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 198

You deserved it 1 746

By ChrisC - 10/07/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 411

You deserved it 62 091

By Meetingman - 20/12/2016 08:36

Today, our company did a photo-session for the website. The photographer was limping, and I immediately asked what's wrong with him. Then I noticed he was on a prosthetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 391

You deserved it 2 477

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 117

You deserved it 3 932

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 054

You deserved it 4 211

By halliemarie1818 - 24/04/2013 02:01 - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 400

You deserved it 4 656

By Urgghh - 16/05/2013 21:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 411

You deserved it 6 410

By Sonofaquiche - 26/01/2017 02:00

Today, I had to help my grandma because her TV suddenly stopped working. She has cable as well as satellite, so she figured she didn't need the satellite receiver anymore. Apparently the best way to do get rid of it was to cut all the cables connected to the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 931

You deserved it 449

Comedy gold

By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 291

By kay - 03/12/2009 02:06 - United States

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 247

You deserved it 4 907

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 11:28 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 008

You deserved it 3 030

By aerythia - 08/12/2012 16:12 - United States - Nashville

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 5 486

By deadandwasted - 20/02/2010 08:20 - United States

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 485

You deserved it 2 432

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 715

You deserved it 13 775

By rugernut13 - 16/10/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 105

You deserved it 6 438

By DoseyGit - 24/01/2017 08:00

Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 030

You deserved it 2 889

Miss Pissy

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 1 796

By forgotten - 19/10/2014 18:19 - United States - Folsom

Today, the kids on my cross country team were planning a big surprise party for one of the girls, whose birthday is in a few weeks. It's my birthday today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 165

You deserved it 2 648

By Bawo - 02/06/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 888

You deserved it 33 889

Mirror mirror

By Anonymous - 05/05/2013 15:53 - United States

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 771

You deserved it 8 639

By Anonymous - 19/02/2012 08:25 - Australia

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 043

You deserved it 23 627

Cash me?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 11:00 - Canada - Lakeville

Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 109

That relationship is toast

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 18:01

Today, my girlfriend cheated on me and still played the victim. She went and told her friends that I didn't give her freedom. She said I didn't let her buy a toaster. We had an airfryer with a toast option! FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 09/05/2011 04:37 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 798

You deserved it 6 293

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 20:33 - Canada

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 491

You deserved it 4 274

By unloved - 18/01/2010 05:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 969

You deserved it 2 737

By Emma - 05/01/2016 03:08 - United Kingdom - Rawtenstall

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 685

You deserved it 5 451

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 437

Lujack

By Anonymous - 03/04/2016 09:46 - United States - Oakland

Today, I found out the real reason my dad bought a new car and generously gave me his old one. He knew the engine was about to fail and didn't want it to be his problem when it finally did. It blew out while I was driving at high speed on the motorway. Just my luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 658

You deserved it 1 740

By fatty - 23/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 300

You deserved it 15 638

By leopard - 01/06/2018 19:00

Today, I was finally confident enough to buzz half my hair off into the style I've wanted since I was young. Turns out that I have a particularly large and angry-looking skin problem across my scalp that may well have been there for years. It'll take months to grow back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 334

You deserved it 818

By Anonymous - 30/10/2012 23:42 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 020

You deserved it 2 415

By Anonymous - 31/12/2011 08:44 - United States

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 6 626

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 599

You deserved it 6 734

My new friends

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 18:01 - Germany - Dresden

Today, on a camping trip, where it’s raining, I'm suddenly popular. With whom? With slugs! I found one in my shoe, one in my bag, two in my cooking pot and the last one I grabbed – surprise! - on the backside of my coffee mug, which was inside the bag, on the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 56

By Anonymous - 15/09/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 768

You deserved it 8 017

By pussyface96 - 19/09/2012 09:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 587

You deserved it 44 432

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 05:10 - Canada

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 353

You deserved it 2 771

By strangebeans - 25/07/2012 05:27 - United States

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 557

You deserved it 3 616

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

jackiemoonthepro 5

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:06

now you ruined it for me thanks a lot dick

VVeetard 8

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:08

take hold of your balls before they fall off

cymruambyth 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:02

you traitor!:(

HugoBosss_fml 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:10

He's fallen into the Glee trap.

bagginzy 14

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:53

15 I think you should hate the fact that you are too scared about acting masculine and 'cool' and are afraid of defying improper stereotypes.

marinus_fml 19

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 10:07

#27 is butthurt 'cuz he likes Glee...

jvillan87 5

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 10:41

Thankfully I don't have to watch glee when my wife does. But I had a similar experience with the show "Veronica Mars". I bitched and moaned about how I didn't want to watch it, the next thing I know I've watched all 3 seasons of it.

iluvhobos 5

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 12:27

Why? Rachel's a bitch.

juicedboi 7

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 12:52

Fairly sure that was her way of castrating you. And sadly, it worked.

Carpy 8

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 13:34

29 - I don't think 27's butt hurts because of that reason......

lost12 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 14:49

glee is gay

rallets 22

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 15:20

fuck glee, its all about Hellcats, ahh alyson michalka and ashley tisdale ;D

AlwaySunny 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 15:41

who cares #59, she's hot

Kn0wledge123 21

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 17:55

Glee is garbage son. So is Gossip Girl and that Hellcats bullshit they call a show. Its all about Supernatural and First 48. Colbert Report FTW.

dudeitsdanny 9

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 18:58

^Supernatural! Fuck yes!

babyyninjas 1

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 22:43

shit If you wanna be man again watch the walking dead.

uridea 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 2:25

First 48 ftw :D

xShannonxSammyx 7

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 2:44

Yeah, Glee tends to become addicting... OP, Rachel's a conceded bitch, don't feel sorry for her!

janzup77 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 4:27

glee has 2 seasons

bitheway 2

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:35

Screw y'all straight men can watch glee. And Rachel is not a bitch or conceded anymore shes gotten a lot better with her personality. And don't ruin it for me I haven't seen that episode yet.

magnolius8 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 25 May 2011 23:09

I agree you should be required to hand in your man card for that one.

magnolius8 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 25 May 2011 23:55

I think you're scared of being straight.

xShannonxSammyx 7

Send a private message

Thursday 26 May 2011 5:35

IT'S A TV SHOW. That doesn't define wether you're straight or gay- he could be metrosexual, too.

jayalexander 7

Send a private message

Friday 24 June 2011 18:08

I swear this was posted a couple months ago or maybe I'm just having Deja Vu...

iLazy 0

Monday 23 May 2011 9:02

You are now a Gleek. Go for medical help because you are addicted to a show which got worse as time went on.

jpest17 5

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 14:58

I watch glee and hated once I realized glee is a club where stereotypes run rampant. for the most part they make people who disagree with the politically correct topics abusive bigots who as a group of choir students they gang up on the one person.

ThatSucksAlotYDI 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 17:25

I approve, 2. Glee is a shitty show.

benjimm1 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:36

I hope he at least got some after 6 crap-hourS

ericownz101 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 25 May 2011 7:45

OP is a gleetard now :/

ItIsMeSRC 7

Send a private message

Friday 21 November 2014 15:45

Says the person with Fairy Tail as the profile pic....

amrik 11

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:05

I prefer JOY

RacerX1695 1

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 14:56

Ohhh, it's funny because Joy and Glee are similar words.

Bizenghastly 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 23:04

I see what u did there ^_^

LemonBlue 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:05

I'm in the same dilemma

tookietookie123 5

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:03

Aren't we all? sadly :D

FunnyGuy5051 7

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 9:45

yup, those dang cops telling kids not to get in our vans for candy

Pokeemon 3

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:06

lies! no one like rachael

jackiemoonthepro 5

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:06

now you ruined it for me thanks a lot dick

FatElie 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 9:11

Good, now you don't have to watch it.

Pokeemon 3

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 11:00

No one likes Rachael anyway

Miouya 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 16:55

don't give up hope keep watching it!

Bravo11 14

Send a private message

Monday 23 May 2011 21:56

I respect Rachel for her drive to be a star.

greekgal44 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 2:44

rachel is the best character on there, so stop bugging about her :)

MaskedAspen 6

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 May 2011 3:13

Rachel's the worst, but then again everyone is entitled to their own opinion. but you must be pretty far behind there, that episode was at the beginning of the season.