Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
It's not normal to shave with a pizza cutter?
bellakaykid 6
What... Why the ****?
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Comments (145)
Blueglasscup 18
Could've been worse... You could have thought it was a good idea to use a pizza cutter to shave your pubes.
DerekCorbett 18
OP never specified exactly where he was shaving, therefore your comment just may be true....
sporty1200xlr 6
We NEED to see pics!!!
shinshoku13 19
I dunno about anyone else but i dont even own a pizza cutter, i guess now i know why
DerekCorbett 18
Now don't quote me on this, but I'm nearly positive that not everyone who owns a pizza cutter will get drunk and attempt to shave with it. So if you really want one, I think you're safe.
anarchist884 9
Wow.... I usually just talk crap and occasionally write texts I'll come to regret. You, sir, are an example for all drunks! ;)
SwaggCapone 11
So tell us. how'd that work out for ya
CCDNRGD81411 3
I hate those cheap 1 blade razors :)
Unbweavable 17
I really want to know the thought pattern that would lead you to this option
lively12 0
Did u learn anything from that experience??
MuseFan1991 14
i saw the words 'in a drunken state' and clicked YDI. if it seems a good idea when you're drunk, it probably isnt
radke1017 5
Well....what did you have to shave? ;)