Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
It's not normal to shave with a pizza cutter?
bellakaykid 6
What... Why the ****?
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Comments (145)
golferman72 16
Lol
Steve95401 49
This might have been okay if your whiskers were made of mozzarella.
Bigbrodza 3
"today, in a drunken state" YDI.
ThexVengence 21
Pics or it didn't happen
sporty1200xlr 6
I did that too when I was younger, but I did it to my knuckle hair. My buddy still has a bald spot on his calf and that was from about 15 years ago.
amberbelle 14
Where?
iheartgraceface 0
I don't believe this. no amount of alcohol would make a normal person think this is safe/ would work.
nayfray 3
Haha, that really sucks. I've done bad things with the razor when I've been stoned out of my mind...
cman90 4
Dumbass lol
Ray_of_midnight 23
What do we do with a drunken sailor, What do we do with a drunken sailor, What do we do with a drunken sailor Early in the morn'? Shave his bollocks with a pizza cutter, Shave his bollocks with a pizza cutter, Shave his bollocks with a pizza cutter, Early in the morn'!