Kids: Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother... - FML

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

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Same thing different taste

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 696

You deserved it 5 580

By blueberry_hill - 11/12/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 787

You deserved it 6 128

By DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 973

You deserved it 3 649

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 197

You deserved it 4 736

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 093

You deserved it 4 718

By Anonymous - 22/10/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 388

You deserved it 2 990

Back-seat parenting

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 14:00

Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 10:26 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 551

You deserved it 3 120

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 3 328

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 149

You deserved it 4 166

Next

Top comments

amadeclton 27

Monday 3 November 2014 0:07

Time for counseling?

Marie54321 19

Monday 3 November 2014 0:07

Sounds like the beginnings of a serial killer...

Comments

zombiekiller52 24

Monday 3 November 2014 4:25

Hahahaha weren't all like that at his age? No ohhhhh Hahahahaha kid sounds awesome

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Monday 3 November 2014 5:22

scale to 1-10 on the retard scale..i wouldn't know what number you got since you broke it

rocker_chick23 27

Monday 3 November 2014 6:17

No, I never had the urge to murder my parents at that age.

Tammy11 1

Monday 3 November 2014 4:31

I don't believe it, sorry

engineerosaurus 26

Monday 3 November 2014 4:38

Sounds like you have a child with a significant mental health problem. Hope you and your kiddo get the help you need, and best of luck. This is probably going to be a lifelong journey.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Monday 3 November 2014 4:45

OP's son could be a pillow-based Dexter with the proper training. Train the dark passenger to smother only for righteousness.

raichu23154 10

Monday 3 November 2014 4:50

sounds like ur son need help

baxwar 15

Monday 3 November 2014 5:01

Did he recently watch chucky

LotsOfConfusion 9

Monday 3 November 2014 5:50

This is very reminiscent of an FML published a while ago. Maybe you 2 should chat!

ToxicTyrael 26

Monday 3 November 2014 6:15

Why would he do this???

ShadowlessSpear 21

Monday 3 November 2014 6:24

Sorry, but if my kid tried to kill me, I would never feel safe with them around again. If I were you, I would not allow him to live me anymore.

Joshery 14

Monday 3 November 2014 6:25

But the question is, why?

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You deserved it 150

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You deserved it 227