Kids: Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother...

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

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Same thing different taste

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 696

You deserved it 5 580

By blueberry_hill - 11/12/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 787

You deserved it 6 128

By DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 973

You deserved it 3 649

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 197

You deserved it 4 736

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 093

You deserved it 4 718

By Anonymous - 22/10/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 388

You deserved it 2 990

Back-seat parenting

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 14:00

Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 10:26 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 551

You deserved it 3 120

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 3 328

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 149

You deserved it 4 166

amadeclton 27

Monday 3 November 2014 0:07

Time for counseling?

Marie54321 19

Monday 3 November 2014 0:07

Sounds like the beginnings of a serial killer...

Comments

aarsch8 5

Monday 3 November 2014 15:59

Get him the new call of duty game, that will keep him occupied enough for you to get some help.

differentadi 13

Monday 3 November 2014 17:38

You ate his Halloween candy didn't you.

systemofadylan 9

Monday 3 November 2014 19:37

"You just don't understand, MOM!"

Sasquatch94 6

Monday 3 November 2014 20:10

Jeff the killer is back!!!

TheBlakout 5

Wednesday 5 November 2014 5:31

I once told my mom she was a worthless piece of shit. This has helped me forgive myself.

DatFreshWhtBoy 6

Wednesday 5 November 2014 5:59

Save your own life

SirJKCaptain 12

Wednesday 5 November 2014 23:06

Psychiatrist?

jamaican1876 4

Thursday 6 November 2014 7:17

Everyone is talking about anger management and counselling . Whoop his ass old style. Kids never act out after a good spanking.

sickmyduckplz 2

Thursday 6 November 2014 9:08

If Hitler could do it to that many people so can he.

Mindset 11

Sunday 23 November 2014 20:22

Spanking? Shit you need a priest to perform an exorcism on that demon child

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 12

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I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 98

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I agree, your life sucks 28 953

You deserved it 3 335

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I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 176

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 094

You deserved it 3 058

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 344

You deserved it 33 363

Same thing different taste

Sleep demon

Back-seat parenting

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