Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML
Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML
Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
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Top comments
deedeee 9
Hopefully it didn't lay any eggs in there...
DocBastard 40
That's gnatsty, but snot the worst thing I've heard.
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Comments (172)
AznSamoan52 10
Poor fly. It had a horrible and snotty death. Anyways, why didn't you try to get the fly out of your nose?
Azula272 14
It was spelunking up the nose of mount Rushmore.
ant1ion 12
Or so it thought
nonnieluv 9
Maybe there is a fly war in your nose. I mean if this is the case it would be a troubling time for the fly and his/her family. You should bury the dead with an American flag over its coffin.
bones_17 5
Congrats on the stupidest comment I read today
Psych101 9
Now hang on 55, 16 may be on to something there. Wait a minute. No. 16 is not.
MindFreakazoid 10
How are you sure it's an American fly? It may very well be German.
missmcg 4
da fuq o.0
raraisbang 12
By far the dumbest comment ever. As if only Americans bury their dead! Sheesh.
XtraEzeee 8
I would imagine the fly to be Canadian, considering most flies don't get to travel internationally in their lifetimes.
MrKapono 4
Your a ******* moron
nonnieluv 9
I'm pretty sure people know that Americans are in an undeclared war right now and being that I am in fact American. I used my own country
raraisbang 12
131, why was the period necessary between "American" and "I?"
Havin 19
You're*
nonnieluv 9
133- it could have been a comma or period which means technically it should have been a semicolon, sorry for my error.
FMLKitten 15
Might I add OP lives in Canada..?
nonnieluv 9
170- I probably should have read that
MolesterStallone 13
You must have some serious suction in those nostrils of yours.
Dunvanation 4
From the looks of your profile, you seem like someone who would like that... Molester Stallone...
skullofdarkness 18
Don't you hate it when that happens?
Tiwuz 19
I didn't read anything about getting the fly out, if you can inhale that hard I'm sure you could've exhaled it out too.
Austyn57 1
just sneeze n blow it out
I_lost_the_game 25
Can you force yourself to sneeze?
perdix 31
Before it died, the fly probably took a massive dump in your nose. When I wrote that, I thought it might help. Oh, well, . . .
Pelvispresley 8
Beware of any black boogers...
ninjadinos 14
It undoubtably did! A fly poops every time it lands. :D
Enslaved 38
Wondering how many days that fly will take to change into an interesting booger?
Pandacupcakelove 26
Uuugh Yuck! I'm so sorry! Did you at least get it out? :S