Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML
Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML
Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
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Top comments
deedeee 9
Hopefully it didn't lay any eggs in there...
DocBastard 40
That's gnatsty, but snot the worst thing I've heard.
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Comments (172)
amifaiyaz 12
I once had an ant in my ear, and they make the weirdest squeaking noises, ugh *shudder*.. at least you didn't think you were going insane, OP.
Sunkissedgal 6
I feel your pain. When I go running I have gnats flying in my eyes.
craigalakszay 0
how is this an fml
DocBastard 40
Because its published on fmylife.com, and because the mods said so. Amazing how that works, isn't it?
mosquito19 14
yo, if you suck a little harder. you'll be able to get in in your mouth to chew it.
Calyx_fml 22
Murderer.
dillonManning 9
That's going to be one "special" snot rocket.
88vivera 9
That's gross!!
Speezy01 4
With the way you lovingly described the scenario, sounds to me like you enjoyed it. YDI
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yea, OP obviously liked it, that's why it's on FML written in a way to gross the general population out. Nice observant skills. /sarcastic clap
Speezy01 4
With the way you use the word sarcastic in your reply you make it seem almost as if you understand the term. Clearly you do not. Nice try though ;)
purplebumblebee 2
This is why I wear a nose plug when I'm sleeping. DUH!
klovely22 13
That's brilliant! Then they have direct access to your mouth!
purplebumblebee 2
DAMN! Never thought of that.
PikachuBuddy 8
0.o