Health: Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from...

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 630

You deserved it 2 095

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Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 236

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 593

You deserved it 847

Tasty

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 743

You deserved it 9 819

By mynoseburns - 22/02/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 516

You deserved it 2 657

Geyser

By Ouch - 15/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 611

You deserved it 11 127

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 2 202

Hangover

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 14:00

Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 3 151

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was feeling sick so I decided to lay down. As soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I bent over the toilet to throw up, my glasses fell in along with my vomit. Before I had a chance to retrieve them, I threw up again. And again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 899

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 901

You deserved it 6 671

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 4 592

jenninyc1128 17

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:57

That really must have been terrible, hope you feel better!!!

WolfAvenge 22

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:56

Shoo fly, don't bother me!

Comments

WolfAvenge 22

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:56

Shoo fly, don't bother me!

jerryj 27

Wednesday 14 October 2015 18:06

Shoo fly, don't bother me!

jenninyc1128 17

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:57

That really must have been terrible, hope you feel better!!!

Livin_Like_Larry 29

Tuesday 13 October 2015 23:24

For some reason, every time I read this it sounds like sarcasm to me

YumeWolf 23

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:57

Oh wow, that sucks OP! Hope you're feeling better now.

Atromus 13

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:58

Ah gross that must itch.

2C0OL4SCH0OL 17

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:59

Oh well anyone would throw up in that kinda situation. You have a pretty bad luck though. Hope you aren't traumatized because of that.

Dabeli_fml 16

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:59

And now I have thrown up. FML.

Redoxx_fml 22

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:16

**** the fly's life

Novadi 22

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:24

You can't **** something that doesn't exist anymore.

chrisbeaudoin 26

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:27

Today, i was minding my own business and all when a human tried to eat me and then splatter all it's human fluids over me. FML

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:18

throwing up some perfectly good protein OP!

dyoy_87 21

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:18

That story is so fly

FalloutScrolls 25

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:19

Rapid fire puking. ...it's a skill.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 420

You deserved it 46 454

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 020

You deserved it 115 204

The Top

Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home in the middle of nowhere when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 717

You deserved it 2 255

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 3 139

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 297

You deserved it 5 780

Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 1 739

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 072

You deserved it 4 330

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 370

You deserved it 2 649

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

Tasty

Geyser

Hangover

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