Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out my fiancé is already married. His "crazy ex-wife" is not all that crazy, and is still his wife. FML
Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML
Set the scene
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML
Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Wait, what?
Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML
Mommy dearest
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
Top comments
Anon17564 3
I think being drugged and raped is a bit too much for just FML... Go to the ******* police.
Zwische 13
....the ****?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (287)
DangerousBabee 0
Thats-what-you-get-ha-ha-ha :P
crzygrl90218 0
O my god....I am soo sorry!! I would run!!
Papa_H 0
@ 1: Barely @ 2: Wrong
Anger_Guilt 0
I just have to say wow...dude FYL and i just want you two know its not your fault and the ex is a ******* bitch...i hope she gets whats coming to her...maybe feminist19 is on her way to meet her
the_stereotype 0
the both of them will probably go off and be lesbian together, because they don't need men. no offense to any lesbians out there...sorry to bring fem19 over onto your side
juneping 0
how did you end up at her house? if you went there for sex...then you just messed with her of course she's gonna be crazy. in that case, you dig your own grave.
pwnage79 0
your an idiot
shelboo_fml 0
You're* ...... < w
aerothekian 0
This is bad news, seriously, You have to remember having sex, OP didnt know, if he knew, he'd probably wouldve walked out after the sex.
Egotistical 0
Femi stfu plz. No one deserves to be raped male or female. OP: call the cops ASAP Fight for custody if she is pregnant and put that bitch on child support Make sure she never sees the child or you/family members/friends **** that bitch up!!!! Femi makes me so mad. Just stop. Your comments are being buried so bitch stop. All of them are so what the hell is the point of trying. Obviously 1 out of 1000 people agree with you. Dig a hole and I'll gladely help bury you along with your dumb point of views. DAMNIT MAN
Xenon425 0
This is to all the dips**ts out there who think this story is true. Seriously how many bs movies have you seen This stupid bs senario is like a movie classic Come on if he really got raped he would not whip out his laptop and write an FML He'd call the police If you believe this you shouldn't/haven't finished preschool
Bobiolik 0
I think this FML is true... I have known someone that was actually like that, that only thought they had a fight and it was now over. Seriously, FYL OP
tradit03 0
allright. lmfao for those who choose to stick to what they think is right. fact is, if she said no argument and no break up, they must have had a heated argument just recently. that doesn't necessarily mean that she was stalking him on the night of the incident. you are all gifted and have superb imagination. I suggest creative writing. :)
pwnage79 0
ehem " crazy ex-girlfriend's house," im pretty sure he broke up with her
tradit03 0
allright. lmfao for those who choose to stick to what they think is right. fact is, if he is mentioning about his ex having said "no argument and no break up", they must have had a heated argument just recently, hence the break up. that doesn't necessarily mean that she was stalking him on the night of the incident. you are all gifted and have superb imagination. I suggest creative writing. :)