Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my fiancé is already married. His "crazy ex-wife" is not all that crazy, and is still his wife. FML
Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML
Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
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Top comments
Anon17564 3
I think being drugged and raped is a bit too much for just FML... Go to the ******* police.
Zwische 13
....the ****?
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Comments (287)
MyReinvention55 7
holy Fu€k
Rainbowjumper0 12
dude, why are you posting on fml? go to the damn police! don't forget a restraining order.
ladiesman219 4
I kind of know how you feel, sux to be u, I say run away to Mexico and change your name to Julio Sanchez
zbean 0
it seems odd she would drug him. why? unless she's strong, works out or had help, how in the world would she have lifted him? sounds to me he got drunk ( really drunk ) called her and passed out from the booze.
ifmlftw 0
BALLSACKS
skater4life69 0
stop drinking
googlle 0
how was the wedding
fuckmylife2323 0
Holy ******* shit that's insane
fuckmylife2323 0
Holy ******* shit that's insane
ILoveBabyPeter 0
Hahahahahah I am sooo sorry but that's hilarious