Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my fiancé is already married. His "crazy ex-wife" is not all that crazy, and is still his wife. FML
Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML
Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
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Top comments
Anon17564 3
I think being drugged and raped is a bit too much for just FML... Go to the ******* police.
Zwische 13
....the ****?
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Comments (287)
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Shout out to J2mdog This is his request "...That girl is pretty wild now The girl's a super freak The kind you read about In the new wave magazines That girl is pretty kinky The girl's a superfreak I'd really like to taste her Every time we meet She's all right, she's all right That girl's all right with me yeah She's a super freak, super freak She's super freaky: super freak super freak."..."
omgznoes 0
OP I feel for you it sucks, just slip her a pull in a brownie
tradit03 0
wow. posters here are really defensive. but anyhow, how is she gonna drug him without him knowing she is around. they may have been at a bar, then his friends could have taken care of him. at any rate, she couldn't just go to his house either. so they must have talked bwfore he was drugged. and I'm not blaming a rape victim, just stating that he took a risk by being around CRAZY EX.
genius_man16 1
why couldn't she go to his house? There is this thing called /stalking/. You should look into it. There are plenty of ways she could have been around him without him wanting or even knowing about it.
maize_rage_fan 0
dang. i am so sorry.
tradit03 0
wow. posters here are really defensive. but anyhow, how is she gonna drug him without him knowing she is around. they may have been at a bar, then his friends could have taken care of him. at any rate, she couldn't just go to his house either. so they must have talked bwfore he was drugged. and I'm not blaming a rape victim, just stating that he took a risk by being around CRAZY EX.
aladyduh 0
Seriously wow. The people who are saying it was his fault are completely, COMPLETELY ****** up. It is NEVER the victim's fault, no matter WHAT the variations are. You guys seriously need some ******* help if you think that he deserved to get raped. OP, that sucks. Go to the police. The sooner the better. She needs to be locked up.
LOKIM8 0
You need to go to the police and a solicitor, even if you don't press charges you need to establish your legal responsibility or lack therof for the child that may result.
JohnyJackhammer 0
Go to mexico, sip on some gin and juice, change your name to Johnny Jackhammer, grow out a handlebar moustache, and cross to the U.S. with some coyote, and live in California. Worked for me (not really though, I just wanted to have my elaborate lie of a comment be on par with your elaborate lie or ridiculous truth of an FML)
Sweet_Instance 0
To the one who said to push her down the stairs, HOW DARE YOU!!! If he hadn't been drinking, he would be in this situation. don't push her down the stairs to cause a miscarriage - which will be more emotionally damaging than anything you care to dream of for her (NO she does NOT deserve it, crazy or not) Man up and be responsible. Stop being a child and take responsibility. You should not have gotten drunk and lost control, but because you did she may be pregnant.
boatkicker 5
No where did it say he was drinking. He was drugged. (look at his user name)
Tubasaurus 0
How hard did you have to hit your head to rationalize what this psycho did to the OP?
Jason_Q 4
YDI for: Dating a crazy firecrotch being a drugged stoner not wearing a chasity belt
ReasonsToFly 0
I can understand that those are, hopefully, jokes, but the first one is probably the reason why she's now his ex. Or she didn't turn shit-crazy until after.