Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my fiancé is already married. His "crazy ex-wife" is not all that crazy, and is still his wife. FML
Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML
Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
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Top comments
Anon17564 3
I think being drugged and raped is a bit too much for just FML... Go to the ******* police.
Zwische 13
....the ****?
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Comments (287)
AJthegreenkiwi 0
dear ******* christ! "sweet instance" you are a moron. yes, push the bitch down the stairs is perhaps a little harsh, but in no way was this his fault. do you not grasp the concept of "drugged". and "rape." he should SUE the bitch and call the cops. no one deserves that male or female. and femi-whats her ******* face. go wear a mini skirt and walk down a dark alley at 3am. and the op, sucks to be you man.
Severice 0
Feminist19 is making a certain amount of sense. If we can recreate the events leading up to this "encounter" i think we'll have a very different view of the events that took place. This girl is stated as his EX girlfriend, she wouldn't have pushed the matter to getting pregnant unless it was made fairly clear to her she was to stay on the EX list. At which point she would have revealed her "crazy" tendencies to him before. So we can fairly safely presume that he knew she wasn't all there in the head. So, under what pretense did they meet the night before? He woke up at her house, not his, so she didn't sneak into his room after he was drunk. Either way she had to know where he was the night before, so they were at the same location the night before. I also think the op knew his ex was there. Be it a house party, a bar, a night club, he probably had an idea that she was around. This girl is crazy and aggressive in her crazy, she wouldn't be able to deal with the idea of him philandering, so she would want to interrupt that. She would also desire it to be a "night out" for the two of them, from her own twisted perspective. So a man goes to a (bar/Night Club/House Party) and hits of a girl or two, then his crazy ex shows up, **** blocks him, tries to talk with him and dominate his night. Now we have a split. Does the op get frustrated and go home and hit the sack or does he stay and have a chat with his ex, and try and make the most of an evening? If he went home she would have to move him from his place to hers, and why bother when she could just dope him up and screw him in his bed? He had to have stayed, and interacted with her. She now has two options. A. Get him Rip roaring drunk, and remember the good times they had and come back to her place. B. Drug him, get him in the car into her bed and aroused. There are a lot of other possibilities, but this is the one i see working the best and fitting most of the facts that we have. (presuming they're all true.) Under option B. She is very clearly the instigator and 100% at fault. under option A. She's the driving force, but he's not really without blame. That being said, i believe under certain states law (California?) law, sex with a drunk is rape as their judgment is impaired. That brings up a whole new can of worms, though. Just food for thought. The main point i'm trying to make is piece together the background, what do you think happened the night before to make such an FML post? Maybe she forgot something at his place so he came over to deliver it that night, and she attacked him with chloroform. Who knows, but i'd love to hear what you think happened, and then if it's all the ops fault or hers.
pwnage79 0
not drunk, DRUGGED
Severice 0
Not fact, ASSUMPTION. Ps, Alcohol is a drug.
the_stereotype 0
fembitch, stop creating other usernames, you're just magnifying your stupid
Severice 0
Someone drank the kool-aid this morning.
paulm_fml 0
A shame it wasn't of the Jonestown variety..
besad_fml 0
(I stole besad's account) I bet she's singin You belong with me by Taylor Swift. since I'm 11 I don't really care about what you say to me. so go ahead and swear.
paulm_fml 0
There's not much to add here, but you certainly don't want to handle the situation in a detrimental fashion. If you've been drugged, go and get a toxicology test administered immediately, and use that as grounds for a restraining order. Unfortunately there is little else you can do, if she's pregnant and brings the child to term, you can still be held financially responsible for it (though this obviously varies from country to country). On the other hand, if you have documented evidence demonstrating how this situation arose in the first place, you have a good case for keeping her far away from the child, too.
walletchain 0
You either read Tom Robbins, or you are Tom Robbins.
YDIBITCHES 0
Well she got her cake and she ate it to
EveryDayJackAss 0
... nuff said
xplayman 0
It is my experiences that crazy girls go to the Virgin Islands. Take my ex-girlfriend for example.
lamezzzville 0
this sounds an awful lot like my near future haha
blink831forever 13
Wow! That is messed up! I'm so so sorry!