Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not... - FML

By nick92 - 15/10/2010 16:40 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 467

You deserved it 4 372

Taking stock

You tried

Commando

By maxthomkell - 25/05/2016 03:51 - United States

Today, my AP government teacher moved our seats and of course, I was seated next to my ex who has harassed me ever since our breakup. When I asked the teacher after class if I could please have a seat change, she told me I would have to write a 3-page essay on why I made the request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 494

You deserved it 973

By Solo coffee - 28/06/2017 00:00

Today, it's my last day of work at my job of 2 and a half years. I organised to have coffee with my coworkers at a cafe. Only I turned up. I had my farewell coffee alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 419

You deserved it 442

By Kev - 23/05/2019 04:00

Today, after a number of other automotive misadventures, I tried to find out why my radiator fan decided to quit working. That's when my hood struts thought it would be a good time to give way. Now I have big bruise on my shoulder where the latch hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 119

By PandaSuicide - 01/07/2019 06:29

Today, I jokingly told my die-hard Laker fan dad that I converted to become a Celtics fan. He responded, "Get out of my car." I'm currently sitting on a sidewalk, trying to convince him it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 461

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 21:51 - United States

Today, I had to wait an hour in the awful rain for my mom to pick me up, because she didn't realize the clocks had gone forward already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 582

You deserved it 4 193

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 16:13 - United States

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 353

You deserved it 9 137

By gwengas - 30/07/2014 06:51 - France - Saint-ouen-des-alleux

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 119

You deserved it 5 266

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 720

You deserved it 25 480

By Anonymous - 04/11/2012 00:19 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 869

You deserved it 7 942

Australia? Australia.

By ReptillianFreeloader - 13/02/2017 11:00 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 138

You deserved it 643

Creativity stifled

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 212

You deserved it 22 382

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 033

You deserved it 412

I'm looking through you

By lesler - 20/07/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 171

It never rains…

By Anonymous - 25/04/2020 08:00

Today, I was at work when I got a call to say my grandad died. When I was walking out to my car, I realised someone had stolen all my hubcaps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 82

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 445

You deserved it 13 922

No future

By Bryan - 15/06/2021 16:00

Today, the love of my life said, "You’d make a great husband! Whoever marries you in the future is gonna be so happy!" We’ve been together for 4 years and was planning to propose on her birthday in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 91

By frustrated! - 06/02/2013 06:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 799

You deserved it 6 090

By Toothless - 07/10/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 047

You deserved it 6 375

By Bummer - 30/10/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 755

You deserved it 3 870

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 20:02

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me. All because I’m thinking of moving to the UK next year to study, and apparently, a girl he’s been thinking about for a week is a better option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 236

By Ackbar - 27/02/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 622

You deserved it 15 430

By Huge A Hole - 01/02/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 649

You deserved it 39 253

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 716

You deserved it 4 357

By Anonymous - 12/06/2019 02:10

Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 13:06 - United States

Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 291

You deserved it 2 814

By Rin - 15/01/2010 08:02 - United States

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 441

You deserved it 6 158

By revalc - 16/08/2009 04:35 - Canada

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 565

You deserved it 51 767

By good job bf - 11/01/2013 04:06 - United States - Southampton

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 102

You deserved it 2 872

By Hilary - 23/09/2010 01:25 - Australia

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 087

You deserved it 4 681

Thanks but no thanks.

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 16:00

Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 388

You deserved it 466

By nraecher - 23/03/2013 04:43 - Canada - Ajax

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 858

You deserved it 8 796

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 79

Tense

By Anon - 06/04/2021 07:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor told me if my blood pressure gets any higher, he could use me to reinflate the air in his tyres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 118

By people suck - 28/03/2015 04:16 - United States - Oakland

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 311

You deserved it 2 504

By Trey - 19/11/2011 01:58 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 455

You deserved it 3 300

By awkward - 05/09/2017 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a friend's "party". Everyone bailed but my friend didn't say anything, so it's just me and my girl. The train tickets alone cost £20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 214

You deserved it 319

Anger issues

By Hannah - 25/10/2021 11:00

Today, without context, I overheard my daughter saying that she would “literally rather have mercury poisoning than have her mother yell at her one more time.” She’s 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 308

By FartyCar - 30/11/2018 17:30

Today, I found a bag of frozen broccoli in my car boot from when I went shopping 3 days ago. My whole car smells like farts now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 983

By thecarisfine - 14/03/2015 04:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 835

You deserved it 8 301

By Brian - 16/07/2011 19:19 - United States

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 975

You deserved it 18 815

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:20

Be glad that they didn't just judge you on the surface. They decided to evaluate you right down to your DNA.

RedPillSucks 31

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:06

Just adequate? You fail! They must be evolutionists.

Comments

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:02

hahahahahaha. sucka!

pcakewafflebacon 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 0:53

do you have shiny hair and strong teeth

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 1:53

:D see for ur self lol

zerobahamut03 2

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 4:09

Maybe they think you are a good addition to their family because they are all ugly, hillbilly yokels. Ever think about that? This is what we call a compliment in disguise.

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 5:17

hey at least they accept you!

tweetbaby14 18

Saturday 16 October 2010 12:29

why's this an FML now? they are ok with their son having babies with you. in the end that's all we humans have our many babies that is. stop crying over the purpose of life!

Send a private message

Wednesday 27 October 2010 1:29

Did you consider that they might have said that because they think you're friendly and intelligent? It's a compliment, not an FML.

Leftieswillrule 3

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:06

what more could you ask for? they find you good enough and they are very concerned about the future of the world and don't want bad genes polluting their children... or they're racist in which case ydi for marrying into a racist family

anorexicbarbie 8

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 3:51

Love the name. :)

RedPillSucks 31

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:06

Just adequate? You fail! They must be evolutionists.

perdix 29

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:09

Does that mean more than one of the males in that family want to procreate with you? Do you happen to look like a brood sow?

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 9:07

lol comedy "Im not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." -Mark Twain

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 October 2010 18:41

perdix! I love your comments!

Send a private message

Monday 2 January 2012 6:08

Perdix- I just checked out your FML page. You say you want to be the Justin Bieber or comedy writing does that mean you want to be really shitty at comedy?

Send a private message

Friday 17 August 2012 17:58

That was amusing.... Justin Bieber is very popular though(good and bad), so I assume that is what perdix meant. Doesn't care why he's popular, as long as he is.

clarinetgarza 0

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:11

"Just" Adequate

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 15:20

56... shut the hell up.

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:16

What the hell? Your not going to marry their son well if you are then great good for you?

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 4:20

Um... what?

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:17

I don't see the FML here...

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:19

YDI for dating Charles Darwin

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 0:09

..and his cousin Francis Galton. Eugenetic pur sang!

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:20

Be glad that they didn't just judge you on the surface. They decided to evaluate you right down to your DNA.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Send a private message

Friday 15 October 2010 23:25

Doesn't that just mean that they think you're attractive and therefore would be more likely to be able to produce attractive children? Ooh, F your life. :P

Schizomaniac 24

Send a private message

Saturday 16 October 2010 1:57

"Adequate," Katie, "adequate".

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 4

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 28

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 33