By amazed_71 - United States Today, Rudolph's nose burned out. I had to guide the sleigh. FML I agree, your life sucks 778 You deserved it 51 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML I agree, your life sucks 43830 You deserved it 2856 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML I agree, your life sucks 8992 You deserved it 57613 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Quin Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML I agree, your life sucks 605 You deserved it 1922 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ApparentlyBadDriver - South Africa - Johannesburg Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me a bad driver. Imagine their smugness when I had to call them two hours later and tell them that I drove into a pole. FML I agree, your life sucks 17684 You deserved it 24705 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charlayyyy Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to put Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip their facial hair out. My partner forgot to put it on my eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML I agree, your life sucks 37547 You deserved it 7255 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zyopy - Australia - Hampton Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML I agree, your life sucks 20920 You deserved it 7117 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sarahpft - United States Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 51105 You deserved it 2461 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jen - United States Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML I agree, your life sucks 21085 You deserved it 39490 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By slaughterteddy - United States Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 11968 You deserved it 2505 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML I agree, your life sucks 36118 You deserved it 4847 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML I agree, your life sucks 39292 You deserved it 4449 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML I agree, your life sucks 36277 You deserved it 2706 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jbthedude - United Kingdom Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML I agree, your life sucks 27878 You deserved it 4564 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Iceland - Akureyri Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 74372 You deserved it 6268 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trippiex Today, I was driving by the carnival and I really had to use the bathroom. I saw a porta-potty next to a house, so I parked in their front yard to use the bathroom very quickly. I came out to see a group of teenage boys urinating on my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 1706 You deserved it 792 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sabadaba - United States Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML I agree, your life sucks 31765 You deserved it 3290 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By El Jeffe - United States - Salt Lake City Today, that awesome new dubstep song that I was rocking out to in my car was actually my transmission falling apart. FML I agree, your life sucks 12833 You deserved it 4364 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Xandar Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML I agree, your life sucks 3304 You deserved it 490 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theish Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML I agree, your life sucks 75836 You deserved it 6981 271 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nick - United States Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML I agree, your life sucks 93083 You deserved it 6376 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ___Ruby_____ Today, as I rushed to get my pants on, I slipped and bashed my forehead against the solid oak back board of my bed. School starts in 30 minutes and I look like I lost a boxing match horribly. FML I agree, your life sucks 2447 You deserved it 359 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bribreeeeeezyfreshhh - United Kingdom Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 16890 You deserved it 27088 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Mexico - Mexico Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML I agree, your life sucks 46935 You deserved it 9272 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML I agree, your life sucks 44775 You deserved it 5333 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Depression... - United States Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 34995 You deserved it 9071 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt - United States - Denver Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML I agree, your life sucks 37724 You deserved it 4557 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not chicken spaghetti - United States - Clarksville Today, while cooking supper with my boyfriend, we both smelled something funny. He tasted the sauce I was making, then asked me to taste it because something was off. I guess the burned teflon of our cheap pot mixed with Rotel just doesn't work that well. Now we're having dry chicken and plain noodles. FML I agree, your life sucks 5718 You deserved it 655 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 35116 You deserved it 3406 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UniqueKay Today, on our way home, my cousin, step dad and I noticed a man trying to kidnap a young girl. As good citizens, we called the police so they could catch the man. Nine police cars showed up at my house because dispatch told them we were the kidnappers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1903 You deserved it 119 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 14:02 Forever the bridesmaid Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML I agree, your life sucks 914 You deserved it 181 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justletitbeover - United Kingdom Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML I agree, your life sucks 36263 You deserved it 9551 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokedad - United States Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML I agree, your life sucks 58529 You deserved it 7342 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML I agree, your life sucks 48915 You deserved it 4189 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Potforapeso - United States - Red Bank Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML I agree, your life sucks 42387 You deserved it 5276 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hero to zero - United States Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML I agree, your life sucks 34028 You deserved it 15110 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kappaomicron - United Kingdom Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML I agree, your life sucks 24004 You deserved it 6582 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sgibson982136 Today, I spent 30 minutes ringing up a Guinea pig and supplies for a customer who talked like a sloth, all while she argued with over the price of everything, only for her to return it all 5 minutes later because her sister "changed her mind." FML I agree, your life sucks 1747 You deserved it 104 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By moneymoneymoney - United States - Tampa Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML I agree, your life sucks 44191 You deserved it 7053 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - France Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML I agree, your life sucks 8520 You deserved it 42629 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sick of this shit - United States - West Grove Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML I agree, your life sucks 20839 You deserved it 1738 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CalculatedRisk | 19 #6714273 - Saturday 19 November 2016 6:01 santas exercise routine seems to be working well. Send a private message 9 0 Reply
By Tarlachia | 33 #6714559 - Sunday 20 November 2016 0:41 Seriously? I saw way better suggested captions than this one. This isn't the first time that's happened either. Send a private message 9 2 Reply
By CalculatedRisk | 19 #6714273 - Saturday 19 November 2016 6:01 santas exercise routine seems to be working well. Send a private message 9 0 Reply
By Magnoxidans | 19 #6714278 - Saturday 19 November 2016 6:15 Santa: Rust belt edition Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By watermelon15 | 35 #6714365 - Saturday 19 November 2016 14:04 That's pretty cute hehe Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By Tarlachia | 33 #6714559 - Sunday 20 November 2016 0:41 Seriously? I saw way better suggested captions than this one. This isn't the first time that's happened either. Send a private message 9 2 Reply
By littlefoott69 | 12 #6714582 - Sunday 20 November 2016 2:40 look! an American sled dog! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By jimmyironic | 9 #6714624 - Sunday 20 November 2016 4:53 lame caption Send a private message 6 1 Reply
By cuz803 | 31 #6715261 - Monday 21 November 2016 23:03 Not only is this one rubbish, it's repetitive when a caption is rubbish.Smh Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By DarkPrinceT | 3 #6715426 - Tuesday 22 November 2016 17:04 Why won't you guys give us a dislike button? Every other type of FML has one. Send a private message 1 2 Reply
By luke73tnt | 17 #6716013 - Thursday 24 November 2016 14:31 Gotta do it somehow Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 346 You deserved it 63 2 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 760 You deserved it 164 7 Comments