Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of...

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 500

You deserved it 3 893

Miscellaneous

Empathy lives

Vulture

Bad timing

By Dkim620 - 07/01/2013 03:16 - United States

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 439

You deserved it 4 344

Keep the peace

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 92

By Clumsy - 04/08/2018 15:00

Today, while baby-proofing the stairs so that my toddler wouldn't fall, I slipped on his toy car, broke the brand new gate while grabbing it so I wouldn't fall down the stairs, and broke my wrist and a rib. My husband should mom-proof the house for me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 356

Doing his part

By asshole - 19/04/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that while I was at my job as an "essential" employee, my laid-off boyfriend was at home banging the landlord's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 576

You deserved it 165

By ananymous - 01/11/2012 03:04 - United States - Spencerport

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 650

You deserved it 2 795

By SadBride - 08/09/2015 00:39 - United States

Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 278

You deserved it 2 460

By Mightaswelltutordogs - 21/12/2014 01:16 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 484

You deserved it 5 542

Circular logic

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 11:01

Today, I was told I was disrespectful for letting a parent know that her son was disrespecting adults. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 66

By "mindy12182" - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 320

You deserved it 588

Troublemaker

By RIP - 08/11/2019 08:00 - United States - Lambertville

Today at 10:00 pm, someone rang my doorbell 4 times, while I was sleeping. I thought it was an emergency and I opened the door to my neighbor who just want to ask if I had a blackout at noon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 134

No thanks

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 14:01

Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 145

By cheated - 08/07/2009 06:46 - United States

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 814

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 11/01/2017 14:44

Today, I had to follow a diversion route home due to roadworks. It took me an hour longer than usual to get home. Too bad it turns out that the diversion was only for traffic, not people walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 757

You deserved it 6 254

By Crypticbeerbelly - 11/01/2017 14:44

Today, I was reading a recipe list on my tablet. I moved a little, and one of my fat rolls came into contact with a button which closed the tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 219

You deserved it 3 721

You went too far

By Dia - 02/05/2021 05:01

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 1 999

By maggie2014 - 23/06/2013 23:48 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 28 757

By joarasmi - 01/06/2018 05:00

Today, I came home to a completely trashed house and just stood there in shock until I heard something upstairs. I ran to heroically catch the robber and, despite being a 4'10" woman, I did it! How? The fat fuck got stuck in my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 461

You deserved it 263

By Anonymous - 01/12/2015 09:49 - Australia - Corrimal

Today, I couldn't see my car in a crowded car park. I pressed unlock on my keys and saw the lights flash. As I walked over I also saw someone run from my car with an armful of my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 660

You deserved it 6 578

Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Lolabunny - 21/08/2018 04:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 758

You deserved it 330

By Fatlady43 - 19/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 6 485

By stanky - 22/04/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 713

You deserved it 5 801

By sucksforme - 12/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 497

You deserved it 3 506

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 669

You deserved it 3 871

By carboncoach - 13/12/2013 17:24 - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 742

You deserved it 3 376

By hairdresser - 09/03/2013 09:05 - Australia

Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 510

You deserved it 4 025

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 20:35 - Netherlands

Today, I told my boyfriend I wouldn't be able to get any time off work to go to Mexico with him, and that we'd have to get our tickets refunded, and reschedule. He said not to bother, and that he already had someone else in mind to take with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 616

You deserved it 5 539

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 07:56 - United States

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 021

You deserved it 4 252

By what434 - 08/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Today, I learned that you don't put your diamond earrings on over your bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 259

You deserved it 44 456

By Anonymous - 02/08/2011 00:59 - United States

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 800

You deserved it 3 652

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 20:56 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 886

You deserved it 8 553

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 9 012

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 751

You deserved it 13 846

By happybirthday - 26/09/2011 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 570

You deserved it 2 851

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 20:15 - Canada

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 307

You deserved it 4 620

Not sporty

By Hannah - 22/03/2012 17:21 - Ireland - Wexford

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 130

You deserved it 10 866

By likeyourboss - 04/10/2013 16:05 - Denmark

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 648

You deserved it 5 928

By yamuda - 11/05/2016 23:24 - Ireland - Carlow

Today, I walked into the kitchen to see my dad peeing into a cup. We made eye contact and he quickly threw the cup into the sink. Not one word has been spoken about what happened, and I saw my mom use the same cup later on that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 047

You deserved it 2 002

By witt75 - 23/02/2011 18:53 - United States

Today, I was overdrawn $15 at the bank. I paid in my last $80 in cash, only for them to inform me that I've been slapped with $90 in overdraft fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 709

You deserved it 6 221

By killer - 17/07/2010 14:54 - United States

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 763

You deserved it 8 096

By Nanabanana1 - 07/02/2012 01:23 - United States

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 947

You deserved it 2 847

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Top comments

grtfuldeadlovr 27

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:49

Since when does underwear blow in the wind and why would buy underwear you have to get dry-cleaned anyway?

MELKOZAR 27

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:36

Captain Underpants?

MELKOZAR 27

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:36

Captain Underpants?

tony1891 22

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:53

captain skidmarks.

Lars93 18

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:37

lol. sorry OP

senor_octubre 24

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:37

Just stare at em until they go away

brook823 24

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:37

I would of pretended like I never saw them fall out

Mynamewontfi 40

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Saturday 20 December 2014 1:20

That's probably even worse. What if someone had seen it and tells you you dropped them?

doctorhook86 24

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:38

Something about airing your dirty laundry in front of strangers.

verysmarmy 11

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Sunday 21 December 2014 6:02

I was about to say something along these lines. May you live out your days in the seventh circle of Hell for beating me to it.

doctorhook86 24

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Sunday 21 December 2014 6:22

I'm already there, son.

reneetlovesyou 30

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:38

At least you got them all back! That was a clothes one!

quickit 24

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Saturday 20 December 2014 2:13

I agree. I hope that OP got everything under control.

awkotaco333 15

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:38

At least you don't know them personally, maybe if you're lucky you won't have to see them again in your life

panicsdisaster 17

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:41

I bet you never felt like such an athlete before in your life. :)

BubbleGrunge 18

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:44

Hey, everyone has dirty undies at some point. At least you were washing them!

grtfuldeadlovr 27

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Saturday 20 December 2014 0:49

Since when does underwear blow in the wind and why would buy underwear you have to get dry-cleaned anyway?

BurleyGames 1

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Saturday 20 December 2014 1:53

Because the really nice stuff usually need to be dry cleaner or it will be wrecked. and everybody like to look fancy

Mauskau 35

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Saturday 20 December 2014 2:19

I'd never spend that much on underwear.

Brandi_Faith 33

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Saturday 20 December 2014 2:39

Underwear blows in the wind if it's on the ground on a windy day, the same as anything else. But I don't know of any undies that need to be dry cleaned so maybe op meant laundry-mat? Either way, the image of op chasing around her panties in the parking lot while people watch is pretty hilarious to me!

cutelilscrafty 8

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Saturday 20 December 2014 2:49

If OP's female, they probably have some lacy, fancy, silky panties that can't be machine-washed.

kayteakay 26

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Saturday 20 December 2014 3:25

Maybe she's dropping some stuff off then taking the rest to a laundromat and the panties just happened to fall out.

BlindlyWandering 17

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Saturday 20 December 2014 4:19

I was thinking the same thing.

Frammy007 7

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Saturday 20 December 2014 5:30

Speaking as a woman with lots of lacy and satin underwear - you still don't dry-clean it. You hand wash it and use a drying rack. I have never seen or heard of underwear that needs to be dry-cleaned. What is most likely the case is that OP is too lazy to spend their time doing laundry... or if they make enough money it can make more economic sense for them to pay someone to do it instead.