By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 04:22

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 142
You deserved it 2 364

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He's just nervous in his own skin around your parents. So he tried taking it off.

He must have been attacked by one of those vicious cougars, if you catch my drift.


Those are the panic scratch marks of the adolescent raccoon- scrubs

Oreohugzpenny 4

Does he have a cat? They might be a cats

What a douche. He had some nerve to sport that shit in front of your family too. FYL. I would call him out on the spot in front of everyone and ditch him at the beach.

xoconnie 8

or maybe OPs boyfriend is the same guy from the FML with the cat that attacks him if he doesnt let it sleep on his pillow! :O

Or the raccoon in family guy that attracted peter when they where in witness protection

Maybe he didn't let the cat sleep on his pillow too ...

40, Or you could go the stable route and ask him about them to avoid having yourself dumped and ridiculed if it turns out to be something completely innocent. You know what they say about not burning bridges, right?

Because scratches on the back from sex can be confused with so many other things... /sarcasm

vuragado 10
Mademoiselle_fml 34

Maybe he has a very rough back scratcher?

Yeah, he's 6'3", 250 lbs and is named Jamaal

Actually, I heard that Jamaal was the gentle one...

Judging by OP's reaction I presume he doesn't own any pets. If he had a cat then he might have an excuse, a dog could mean something kinky >_> In any case, pull him aside and confront him. Since he seems to like it rough maybe you could indulge him, eh? >:}

He could have gone to someone else's house like a friend or family that has a pet and he got scratched there. Just maybe...

Yeah, but what are the chances of him innocently being topless at someone else's house, and having a pet suddenly go feral and attack his back of all places?

missamazinggg 12

You can have a shirt on and still have horrible scratches from a cat.

He must have been attacked by one of those vicious cougars, if you catch my drift.

olpally 32

I catch your drift... I love being attacked by cougars ;)

Yeah, he's 6'3", 250 lbs and is named Jamaal

hockeyoceancity 13

I love your profile picture it fits what you're feeling right now haha.

This FML is phrased so oddly. Sounds like it's trying too hard to be an FML.

It's just because the OP didn't break it up into multiple sentences, choosing instead to write one long one that becomes confusing because of its length.

See, I was thinking it was the horrible grammar in the first sentence... But hey, what do I know?

Stop jumping to conclusions, there could easily be an innocent explanation for this

TarieBoo 2

But it's on FML so we're kinda hoping it's not

DollyDope 17

Its not too innocent but perhaps he was on opiates, prescribed or not, and scratched himself too hard. It's happened to me.

There could be a lot of explanations for that.

When I was 15 I had "scratch marks" that no one gave me all over my back; I asked a doctor about it, and learned they were actually just stretch marks from an adolescent growth spurt.

there's a difference between stretch marks and scratch marks .

35: Swear to God, they looked exactly like scratches from sex.