Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
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By
JFurr
| 9
He's just nervous in his own skin around your parents. So he tried taking it off.
By
SovietBarney
| 8
He must have been attacked by one of those vicious cougars, if you catch my drift.
COMMENTS
By
Sandman578737
| 0
Those are the panic scratch marks of the adolescent raccoon- scrubs
Reply
Oreohugzpenny
| 4
Does he have a cat? They might be a cats
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Harpy20
| 24
What a douche. He had some nerve to sport that shit in front of your family too. FYL. I would call him out on the spot in front of everyone and ditch him at the beach.
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adamsimpsona
| 4
Nice thread jacking fag
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xoconnie
| 8
or maybe OPs boyfriend is the same guy from the FML with the cat that attacks him if he doesnt let it sleep on his pillow! :O
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zack11742
| 7
Haha 1 that made my day
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reddawn1985
| 12
Or the raccoon in family guy that attracted peter when they where in witness protection
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newbiehere99
| 6
Maybe he didn't let the cat sleep on his pillow too ...
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downtime
| 12
40, Or you could go the stable route and ask him about them to avoid having yourself dumped and ridiculed if it turns out to be something completely innocent. You know what they say about not burning bridges, right?
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Harpy20
| 24
Because scratches on the back from sex can be confused with so many other things...
/sarcasm
/sarcasm
Reply
vuragado
| 10
Harpy your stupid. God.
By
JFurr
| 9
He's just nervous in his own skin around your parents. So he tried taking it off.
Reply
shelbyj
| 6
AVA, ftw!
Reply
SofiaFaolan
| 8
Best comment yet
By
Mademoiselle_fml
| 34
Maybe he has a very rough back scratcher?
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awagh666
| 14
Yeah, he's 6'3", 250 lbs and is named Jamaal
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Actually, I heard that Jamaal was the gentle one...
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brendenac
| 4
I bet she is. Lol
By
TG_Wolf
| 1
Judging by OP's reaction I presume he doesn't own any pets. If he had a cat then he might have an excuse, a dog could mean something kinky >_>
In any case, pull him aside and confront him. Since he seems to like it rough maybe you could indulge him, eh? >:}
In any case, pull him aside and confront him. Since he seems to like it rough maybe you could indulge him, eh? >:}
Reply
whosindahouse
| 9
He could have gone to someone else's house like a friend or family that has a pet and he got scratched there.
Just maybe...
Just maybe...
Reply
Shrike
| 22
Yeah, but what are the chances of him innocently being topless at someone else's house, and having a pet suddenly go feral and attack his back of all places?
Reply
missamazinggg
| 12
You can have a shirt on and still have horrible scratches from a cat.
Reply
NanillaVipples
| 2
Or maybe... he cheated on OP!
By
SovietBarney
| 8
He must have been attacked by one of those vicious cougars, if you catch my drift.
Reply
olpally
| 32
I catch your drift... I love being attacked by cougars ;)
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Macrid
| 3
So you also know mah man Dunkey?
By
awagh666
| 14
Yeah, he's 6'3", 250 lbs and is named Jamaal
Reply
hockeyoceancity
| 13
I love your profile picture it fits what you're feeling right now haha.
By
Sinsation
| 7
This FML is phrased so oddly. Sounds like it's trying too hard to be an FML.
Reply
Zomg_Okay
| 26
It's just because the OP didn't break it up into multiple sentences, choosing instead to write one long one that becomes confusing because of its length.
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VeganVampyre
| 26
See, I was thinking it was the horrible grammar in the first sentence... But hey, what do I know?
By
music_woman1
| 11
Stop jumping to conclusions, there could easily be an innocent explanation for this
Reply
TarieBoo
| 2
But it's on FML so we're kinda hoping it's not
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DollyDope
| 17
Its not too innocent but perhaps he was on opiates, prescribed or not, and scratched himself too hard. It's happened to me.
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DustyStorm
| 16
Lotsa doubt here
By
CharliesCool2084
| 8
There could be a lot of explanations for that.
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
When I was 15 I had "scratch marks" that no one gave me all over my back; I asked a doctor about it, and learned they were actually just stretch marks from an adolescent growth spurt.
Reply
Fmlsea
| 28
there's a difference between stretch marks and scratch marks .
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
35: Swear to God, they looked exactly like scratches from sex.
By
dacuar
| 0
Your a liar