By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 04:22

Spicy
Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 179
You deserved it 2 373
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Top comments

JFurr 9

He's just nervous in his own skin around your parents. So he tried taking it off.

250 11
SovietBarney 8

He must have been attacked by one of those vicious cougars, if you catch my drift.

213 4

Comments

Sandman578737 0

Those are the panic scratch marks of the adolescent raccoon- scrubs

172 11
Oreohugzpenny 4

Does he have a cat? They might be a cats

2 2
Harpy20 24

What a douche. He had some nerve to sport that shit in front of your family too. FYL. I would call him out on the spot in front of everyone and ditch him at the beach.

37 16
xoconnie 8

or maybe OPs boyfriend is the same guy from the FML with the cat that attacks him if he doesnt let it sleep on his pillow! :O

57 4
reddawn1985 12

Or the raccoon in family guy that attracted peter when they where in witness protection

4 4
newbiehere99 6

Maybe he didn't let the cat sleep on his pillow too ...

5 5
downtime 12

40, Or you could go the stable route and ask him about them to avoid having yourself dumped and ridiculed if it turns out to be something completely innocent. You know what they say about not burning bridges, right?

9 4
Harpy20 24

Because scratches on the back from sex can be confused with so many other things... /sarcasm

2 12
vuragado 10

Harpy your stupid. God.

0 7
Mademoiselle_fml 34

Maybe he has a very rough back scratcher?

93 6
awagh666 14

Yeah, he's 6'3", 250 lbs and is named Jamaal

37 4
TourettesGuyFTW 25

Actually, I heard that Jamaal was the gentle one...

16 3
TG_Wolf 1

Judging by OP's reaction I presume he doesn't own any pets. If he had a cat then he might have an excuse, a dog could mean something kinky >_> In any case, pull him aside and confront him. Since he seems to like it rough maybe you could indulge him, eh? >:}

15 72
whosindahouse 9

He could have gone to someone else's house like a friend or family that has a pet and he got scratched there. Just maybe...

8 7
Shrike 23

Yeah, but what are the chances of him innocently being topless at someone else's house, and having a pet suddenly go feral and attack his back of all places?

12 3
missamazinggg 12

You can have a shirt on and still have horrible scratches from a cat.

7 2
SovietBarney 8

He must have been attacked by one of those vicious cougars, if you catch my drift.

213 4
olpally 32

I catch your drift... I love being attacked by cougars ;)

5 23
awagh666 14

Yeah, he's 6'3", 250 lbs and is named Jamaal

7 48
hockeyoceancity 13

I love your profile picture it fits what you're feeling right now haha.

8 3
Sinsation 7

This FML is phrased so oddly. Sounds like it's trying too hard to be an FML.

37 10
Zomg_Okay 26

It's just because the OP didn't break it up into multiple sentences, choosing instead to write one long one that becomes confusing because of its length.

18 1
VeganVampyre 26

See, I was thinking it was the horrible grammar in the first sentence... But hey, what do I know?

15 2
music_woman1 11

Stop jumping to conclusions, there could easily be an innocent explanation for this

49 13
TarieBoo 2

But it's on FML so we're kinda hoping it's not

28 2
DollyDope 17

Its not too innocent but perhaps he was on opiates, prescribed or not, and scratched himself too hard. It's happened to me.

5 3
CharliesCool2084 8

There could be a lot of explanations for that.

37 8
doctorhook86 24

When I was 15 I had "scratch marks" that no one gave me all over my back; I asked a doctor about it, and learned they were actually just stretch marks from an adolescent growth spurt.

15 1
Fmlsea 28

there's a difference between stretch marks and scratch marks .

10 10
doctorhook86 24

35: Swear to God, they looked exactly like scratches from sex.

13 1