By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 318
You deserved it 3 764
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

beryd 0

At least your still getting some color. : )

114 2

Comments

Denikk 0

beware people, she loves dirt

16 2
OkayImSorry 0

I give 0 *****. How many girls did I hook up with last night? More than you, more than you. "Oh my god you're an alcoholic!!" Nah, nah, I'm in a frat.

1 7
OkayImSorry 0

It's a ******* YouTube vid my homie showed me. It's funny as ****. It's called "Frat Life" go watch it. You will laugh and then you will understand.

1 1
opendoorclosed 8

You got darker on that part of your body, if that counts.

28 0
flockz 19

at least you know now that your boyfriend isnt a "catcher" since u "recieved" that bruise....

15 0
baddud300 6

Jeezzz... how much do you weigh? How can some one just throw someone across a pool?

16 2
ssaammiiee 5

ouch!!! thats messed up

0 0
asetal 0

25 you fail at life. your profile picture is obviousy fake in that ive seen it all over google. thanks for giving me somthing to laugh at though.

11 1
Lucidium 0

Tanning is the skin not blood under the skid. Yeah, I know you're joking but you're also stupid.

2 14
OkayImSorry 0

"^fmylife.com also aims to be funny for everyone involved, as well as a way to share your misfortunes with other unlucky individuals, bearing in mind that a sense of irony is essential." - FML FAQs. Apparently the people who created the website said it was supposed to be funny.

4 5
OkayImSorry 0

Hey shrike. Okay it's a shitty moment that ruined a persons day that is also supposed to be funny. Nonetheless it is supposed to be funny. Idiot. Jesus. Use your head.

0 3
OkayImSorry 0

What? This kid isn't the supreme moderator of FML, he doesn't decide which fmls get posted. He's probably never even moderated. You said that fmls weren't supposed to be funny. They are as proved in the third FAQ. You're wrong, but good try.

0 4
OkayImSorry 0

Shrike, you communicate your ideas terribly over the Internet. Your comment quoted is "Who said fmls were supposed to be funny, you heartless bastard?" Ignore your punctuation error. Yes fmls are moderated officially by moderators but you said(summarized) "If this Fml isnt funny by this guys standards why did it get approved?" Meaning that the Kobe guy is the Fml god and is the ultimate authority on what is funny and what isn't. You stated that fmls are not supposed to be funny. But as proved they are supposed to be a terrible moment that can be taken humorously. Just because this guy doesn't find it funny doesn't mean others don't. Thus the Fml is funny and follows what it was supposed to be. There I hope you understand where I'm coming from. Even though you sound high.

0 0
marinus_fml 19

Your boyfriend just didn't want to catch you.

59 14
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11

Most people would catch someone when they fall. Not when that someone gets thrown at them...

26 0
Ddevon 4

maybe OP is a little to hesvy

4 15
sassyangel24 0

She's obviously not heavy if that dude could throw her across a pool.

21 1
Emmi3xo 4

yeah so if she's not that heavy you would think her boyfriend could catch her, so either 1) he's reallllly weak or 2) he just doesnt like touching his girlfriend..?

2 9
asoptavlo14 6

That and how does someone through someone else who I'm guessing is over 80 lbs across a kiddy pool which may be around 8 feet wide but 1 foot deep?

1 6
jesscarrr 10

just because he didn't catch her doesn't mean he's weak or doesn't want to touch her... it could just be the fact that he wasn't paying attention and/or the friend that threw her said "catch" after she was already airborne...

10 0
acidrainx 9

he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for the next year

0 4
beryd 0

At least your still getting some color. : )

114 2
FMLephant 2

Tan, purple, black and blue. They're all colors. Tan from the sun, the rest from a son of a bitch.

33 4
iAmScrubs 19

I am looking into investing into a baseball league called the Major League Girlfriend Baseball. It is just like regular baseball, except it is played with girlfriends. It seems like this trend has really caught on.

45 86
bigmanj28 0

I see no bats are involved though

22 0
iLoveBoobies21 0

da ****? this shit makes no sense what so ever.

4 5
iAmScrubs 19

Yeah, I guess Major League Girlfriend Baseball wasn't such a good idea after all. I really should have thought this through.

33 10
iAmScrubs 19

I'll recoup my losses and invest in some other stupid sport. Possibly one where horses ride humans around a race track?

36 13
IndigoFuckYou 9

Or toddler-ball? Like baseball, but whacking small children instead of baseballs.

27 3
minidinosaurgoes 9

well you make up for it in ur love for pokemon

4 3
jewfro311 0

Midget tossing like in the movie Dodgeball??

2 0
swittig 0

maybe you're too fat to catch. you can always pay $50 to get with quagmire. of $1000 if you're precious fat.

18 74
LaughinStock 16

No stupid it's do 1000 fat chicks for $50 or do 50 fat chicks for $1000...fat chicks need loving too :)

13 3
damienms 0

they just got to pay

4 1
chili10 18

too fat to catch but not to be thrown?

28 0
No_habla_espanol 11

48, no it's 1000 fat chicks for $50 each or 50 really fat chicks for $1000.

0 1
raymel 5

find nicer friends? :3 or weaker friends that can't pick you up! :D

47 6
natas_fml 13

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
13 32
sxe_beast 11

Personally I picture balls on the chin when I see that emoticon.

14 3
Sunny_Eclipse 6

I like the :3 because of reminds me of s kitty cat. But I'll leave what you guys think up to your diseased imaginations.

12 4
sandythongs 1

i kitty cat wirh face cancer? because no cats face looks like that

1 7
decidedlyvague 11

your picture looks like ash is raping that pokemon o.o

0 0
youliketacos 0

He won't catch you when you fall. He's no good.

25 6
zombieekillah93 0

i bet you look like a blue thing from avatar hehe

17 4
MrSexyPants 14

Your bruises are that color blue?

5 7
Dudelike89 8

sweeetboy is a girl?

13 0
seenyou 3

lol exactly what I thought . she's cute tho :)

2 0
sweetheartslim 0

it's so cool that you're from singapore! I've always wanted to visit the far east! and you are the cutest thing ever!

2 0