Intimacy, Sex and Insects: Three is the magic number

Three is the magic number

By KTBeck - 26/05/2020 14:00

Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 688

You deserved it 345

Intimacy Sex Insects

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Same thing different taste

By John jacob - 13/06/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 623

You deserved it 6 203

Fancy seeing you here

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 16:00

Today, I found a massive tick on my boyfriend's ballsack. I found it with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 216

By embarassed - 08/08/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 103

You deserved it 73 038

I'm just saying…

By dirty boy - 05/07/2021 11:00

Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 116

By Noname - 14/03/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 826

You deserved it 11 757

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 089

You deserved it 6 490

By krabby patty - 25/05/2018 06:00

Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 484

You deserved it 1 614

I don't know why

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 21:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got bug bit on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 505

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 472

You deserved it 11 064

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 116

You deserved it 4 210

AmbrosiaFan 18

Tuesday 26 May 2020 14:43

The checking for ticks should happen as soon as he walks in the door. Head to toe to head... Yikes.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 26 May 2020 16:15

I'll bet you were "ticked off." Oh, and technically you committed **********, bug-******.

Comments

AmbrosiaFan 18

Tuesday 26 May 2020 14:43

The checking for ticks should happen as soon as he walks in the door. Head to toe to head... Yikes.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 26 May 2020 16:15

I'll bet you were "ticked off." Oh, and technically you committed **********, bug-******.

Marcella1016 31

Tuesday 26 May 2020 16:36

Would that mean she and her husband engaged in buggery?

samomaha 17

Tuesday 26 May 2020 23:19

I can only hope that there weren't more than the one tick on his penis, and one (or more) fell off from the friciton during the act.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 27 May 2020 17:01

If some fell off inside her, her hoo-hah could become a ... ...wait on it... ...ticking time bomb.

Marcella1016 31

Tuesday 26 May 2020 16:38

He needs to be careful. Ticks carry Lyme disease. Which is permanent and flares up the rest of your life. Recommend he uses deep woods bug spray on exposed parts of his body whenever he goes on his hikes. Although idk how that would help protect his dick. That just...sucks. Hopefully he’ll take this as a lesson and be more careful next time.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 26 May 2020 17:23

Check yo'self before you wreck yo'self with Lyme Disease!

Mooglefox 23

Tuesday 26 May 2020 18:32

Was it good for the tick?

Susan Yee 9

Tuesday 26 May 2020 23:53

He didn’t shower after hiking, to wash off the sweat and dirts? Straight to sex? Gawd. You two are gross.

bigdikbubls 5

Wednesday 27 May 2020 14:10

that's what I was thinking

Baby_123 8

Wednesday 27 May 2020 1:18

Did you have the ticks consent?

JasonThorn 19

Wednesday 27 May 2020 6:45

I always felt a little weird about showering before sex even if I spent the whole day inside. I don't feel weird about it anymore.

namine120409 42

Wednesday 27 May 2020 12:10

Did you not notice during??

J15237 25

Wednesday 27 May 2020 19:59

Please tell me you checked yourself after this happened? Your husband should have showered first and then or during the shower you two had your " I missed you sex". How long was the trip? I mean if its was one of those long hiking trips I could get wanting to rip each others clothes off.