Love: Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's...

By ashlyn - 06/08/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 383

You deserved it 3 131

Love

Vulture

This Charming Man

Classic switcheroo

By Embarassed - 15/03/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 342

You deserved it 12 715

By sad-sexed - 06/09/2010 12:50 - Australia

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 039

You deserved it 55 333

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 02:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 132

You deserved it 3 763

By mettaton - 17/01/2019 00:00

Today, I realized that my mom talks to me with the exact same tone of voice she uses for my little cousin. I’m 23 and my cousin is 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 236

You deserved it 315

By Sotired - 01/03/2019 17:00 - United States - Medford

Today, after working 12 shifts in the past 8 days at 2 jobs and thinking today was a day off, I got the call that I misread my schedule and I was in fact scheduled. Got off at 2:30 am, work again at 9 am with 9 shifts to go this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 345

You deserved it 346

By StillBurning - 19/08/2017 01:30

Today, I enjoyed my favourite pizza topped with jalapeños for an extra kick. I later got to feel that kick a second time as I vomited in the middle of the night. Some came out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 658

You deserved it 645

Prejudice

By EpicOracle - 20/09/2021 10:00 - Nigeria

Today, I found out that even when I have written and submitted freelance work, the client can refuse to pay and it'd be acknowledged because I'm from Nigeria. Also, they can still use my work. I guess the "Nigerian Prince" issue is affecting even the innocent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 76

By bieberslayer - 06/12/2012 20:47 - United States

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 2 199

Officer McGiggles

By ACAB - 16/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 210

It's not a phase!

By Dumped - 24/04/2021 20:08

Today, my 36 year-old husband decided that I’m not his soulmate and he made a mistake marrying me. Why? Because he believes that the 19 year-old girl he met on his video game online thing is instead, and they’re "meant to be." We’ve been married for 5 years and had our second child a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 79

By ItchyGirl - 09/10/2016 12:07 - Australia - Geelong

Today, I've got the worst eczema I've had in 25 years. It's spread to the worst possible spot: right where my thighs touch when I walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 749

You deserved it 857

By anonymous - 14/09/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 792

You deserved it 4 492

By Me - 19/11/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while bench pressing at the gym, I noticed my spotter had spit hanging from his mouth right above me. When I tried to warn him about it, he ignored me and told me to finish the set. When the drool fell in my mouth, I was startled and dropped the 175 weights and bar on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 003

You deserved it 2 143

By bigbro - 06/09/2016 08:05 - Australia - Southbank

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 302

You deserved it 4 926

By Puick - 26/12/2013 23:50 - France - Sonchamp

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 541

You deserved it 9 757

By calli - 25/12/2009 21:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 397

You deserved it 4 590

By Whoneedsgradschool - 20/04/2017 20:00

Today, my parents gave me a letter they'd forgotten about since late last year. In it was a $30,000 scholarship to a local master's program with an application due date of two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 475

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 06:26 - United States

Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 256

You deserved it 29 038

By FuckSteakNShake - 06/06/2017 16:00

Today, I was fired, all because I asked my manager for help on the line when we were short staffed and he was on his butt in the office. He said it wasn't his job to help us. Apparently, asking your manager for help when you're busy gets you fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 870

You deserved it 218

By katiebird - 16/03/2016 20:51 - United States - Durham

Today, my father informed me that I will have no chance of dating a good man if I keep up with these interracial relationships. And that he won't be supporting me through college if I continue this "rebellion." My boyfriend is half black and loves the same music, sports, and movies as my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 545

You deserved it 2 014

By Scorned - 16/09/2018 06:00

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 763

You deserved it 323

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 887

You deserved it 1 781

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 523

You deserved it 9 132

By justabitembarrassed - 07/10/2012 14:20 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 775

You deserved it 4 790

Halved

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 14:00

Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 100

By shocked - 25/08/2011 18:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 608

You deserved it 5 080

By flop of shame - 17/08/2019 16:00

Today, I was walking into work holding a coffee and a bunch of other things. My employee saw me and held the door. I was almost there when I dropped my coffee, tried to catch it, tripped over the curb and fell flat on my face. I heard the door close while still lying there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 169

By Unemployed - 21/09/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 674

You deserved it 2 733

Dumbass

By SpookyBiscuits - 27/12/2016 16:27

Today, my boss wants to sort people in his contact list by last name, so I showed him how to switch the sorting from first to last. He tried to correct it by writing the first name in the last name spot and vise versa. Now he wants me to go through and change them all back. All 200+ of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 806

You deserved it 497

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 01:20 - United States

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 425

You deserved it 3 214

By lolmyfduplife - 24/12/2015 06:10

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 633

You deserved it 2 083

By anonymous - 08/03/2010 15:12 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 559

You deserved it 4 961

By Mac - 16/09/2009 17:05 - France

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 370

You deserved it 115 487

By Mmorgan771 - 04/08/2015 17:02 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, at work, a customer told me how unprofessional my piercing made me look, and insisted that someone else wait on his table. It's not a piercing, it's a mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 378

You deserved it 1 708

Are you sure you're OK?

By H…… - 20/11/2020 20:08

Today, my roommate and I were talking about how much better my dog has gotten at not peeing in the house, and how I was doing better at not losing my temper when he did. A few hours after this conversation, the dog pissed all over the floor and I screamed so loudly that now my throat hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 694

By Anonymous - 22/10/2012 00:29 - United States - Bellingham

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 542

You deserved it 58 930

By jonchavez - 29/05/2014 23:46 - United States - Trenton

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 381

You deserved it 4 675

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 15:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 833

You deserved it 14 778

By Anonymous - 06/09/2015 20:11 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 699

You deserved it 7 995

By notmuchfun - 20/07/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 361

You deserved it 4 664

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Top comments

luismyl 6

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:18

I noticed you still call him boyfriend.

Halcyon3210 6

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:15

They're probably his.

Halcyon3210 6

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:15

They're probably his.

sexylegs17 5

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:23

Go to your house, pull out a pair of boxers from under your bed and ask if they're his..

yamatelle 19

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:25

Or....she can just take the tank top and the bra and shove it up his ass!

aFatFuck 0

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:26

Probably his. Haven't you ever heard of a manzier? ah Seinfeld.

ripgeorgecarl1n 7

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:31

What a weirdo! Dump that crazy cross dresser!!

Jacobt24 19

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Saturday 6 August 2011 13:02

So if OP had to go back to get some of her clothes, does that mean she has left naked?

Jacobt24 19

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Saturday 6 August 2011 13:06

Never mind. OP probably stayed the night and change back into those clothes and forgot them. I wish it was the other option. -_-

Soloman212 28

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Saturday 6 August 2011 13:28

If she DID have boxers to pull out to begin with then she deserved it, so that's not really a valid response...

YourEvilHero 12

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Saturday 6 August 2011 13:48

he might be interested in a 3 way

BraBrando 0

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Saturday 6 August 2011 15:45

OP's Boyfriend: "Uh, they belong to my sister."

sandyandellie 5

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Sunday 7 August 2011 6:23

59- umm. considering that it was in his room, I think that would make the situation worse...

KrazieKleo 13

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:18

LOL, they're probably her best friends or someone close to her, haha

MrSassypants 32

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Saturday 6 August 2011 14:17

If they do belong to someone close to her... well then that's just fucked up.

jren207 24

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Saturday 6 August 2011 15:23

48, I dunno, it could be a kinky situation.

lennelleong 33

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Saturday 15 June 2013 17:45

How long has it been since the underside of the bed was cleaned? could have been his ex's!

toxic_walrus 15

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:28

Yeah, "haha"

doyers11 0

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:18

Are u sure it's not urs?

Crea8urWorld 5

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Saturday 6 August 2011 14:03

yeah.. bc who really leaves after a hook up with no shirt and bra? especially when bras are like 60 bucks or more these days.

EminGH 7

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:18

His mother's.

luismyl 6

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:18

I noticed you still call him boyfriend.

alpaquette91 9

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:19

He was drunk don't worry

iEatGuppies 0

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Saturday 6 August 2011 17:39

yeah totally! cheating is okay when your drunk! note my sarcasm.

RUSH777 0

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Sunday 7 August 2011 22:57

65, obviously you didn't note HIS sarcasm..

xZianIx209 6

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:20

maybe he was doing his moms laundry...or his dads 0.o

PrickHead 0

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Saturday 6 August 2011 20:52

i see what you did there.

dstivers 0

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:20

Maybe he likes to dress as a girl in his spare time

reallytho3 11

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Saturday 6 August 2011 14:35

Dont knock it till u try it dude

salvorican 24

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:20

You should probably check under the bed to see what else he's hiding.. Maybe the girl that goes with the clothes is there too..

Vash_41288 10

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Saturday 6 August 2011 13:29

Hopefully alive as well if not then that would be a completely different fml for those involved

aPieceOfFruit 16

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Saturday 6 August 2011 12:25

....a gift?

Soloman212 28

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Saturday 6 August 2011 13:31

How creative and thoughtful of him!!! "Are these yours honey?" "... No!" "They are now!" "Awwww, thank you so much!! I've been wanting this top for months! I love you."