^ This is a great idea. Whether or not they fit will be the first clue. OP should also ask to see the rest of his collection. If he really likes to wear women's underwear, he's likely to have more than one pair. An unfaithful bf is worse than a bf who plays dress-up. If he balks at any of the above, it's time to leave the little cheater.

@ 46 your right nd this is a very good idea

I agree...FYL OP, not because of anything your boyfriend may or may not have done, but because you think that the possibility of your boyfriend liking to put on women's underwear could be worse than the possibility of him cheating on you. Don't be so closed-minded.

This. If he won't, he's lying.

Why is it her business? Like I said, his body is his own, she doesn't get to decide what he can and can't do with it, and the fact that he ***** and dates and possibly loves other women in no way diminishes the love and attraction he feels towards her. You don't limit yourself to one friend (and if you do, that's extremely unhealthy), why should you limit yourself to only one romantic or sexual relationship? You're still in high school aren't you?

I was once like you, stuck on this "devotion" crap, until I learned to let go of jealousy and love myself and my romantic partners enough to live freely. You know what devotion is? Possession. You think you have a right to control another human being's behaviour, and that's wrong. Even worse is the fact that you want other people to control your behaviour, to tell you who you can and cannot love and desire. Once you grow up you realize that it's not only possible, but optimal, to love and desire more than one person at once. I'm not gonna lie, it's difficult as hell to let go of both your own personal insecurities and the socialization that creates jealousy and possessiveness. There are a lot of relapses which can be huge turn-offs to other polyamourous people. But once you've worked through it the rewards are worth it. Trust me, you being both young and insecure and stuck in this dichotomy between obsession and solitude, you have no idea how amazing it is to be free to openly communicate, to be able to tell your lover EXACTLY how you feel and what you think. Do you have any idea how cool it is to go to a party with your girlfriend and play wingman for each other the whole night? Shit feels aweseom.

wowwwww obviously you like to ******* get around... good luck a life with STDs and *****... and for ur info I'm not in highschool. asshole!

I totally agree !!!

with Catherine that is

Dude. Ok, three things: 1-It's been proven that having more than a very few sex partners ever GREATLY increases the chances of cancer (ovarian, I think) for women. We don't have the option of ******* around, really. I mean, we could, but we take our lives in our hands. And this cancer leads to infertility. You lucky guys get to **** 4298732498432978 women and be healthy. 2-Despite all that, there's nothing inherently wrong with polyamoury. However, there IS something wrong with just taking it on yourself to decide what kind of relationship you have without asking the other person, ESPECIALLY when you want something that isn't what people generally expect. He is a jackass for not having the cojones to say, "I don't like monogamy. What do you think about an open relationship?" 3-Don't insult everyone with a different view than yours like a jackass and then tell US we're not open-minded. Most people agree with monogamy, so it must be working. And even if you were right, being a **** isn't going to convince anyone.

Well said, Intoxicunt. But to be precise, HPV (what you're probably talking about) causes cervical cancer, not ovarian. Besides that, chlamydia and gonorrhea can also cause infertility in women.

@a_borshunist: I am NOT a teen but I follow the principal of your either in a relationship or your not. IMO people who claim to be in an "open relationship" aren't in a relationship but are actually just fuckbuddies with several people. But that's not what love is. Those who say real love isn't, well, real, are those who are too scared to actually trust someone

ur completely ignorant to others feelings, I wouldn't doubt that ur alone considering the way u think.

and also, I agree with the others. It's her buisness either way because she either is or will eventually share her body with him. If he wants an open relationship (or if anyone else does) then don't be a jackass about... State it at the beginning of the relationship. Even in Open Relationships, it's still your partners buisness who your sleeping with because they have the right to decide who they want to screw inadvertantly through you.

@24 how much for 5 mins?

I didn't mean HPV specifically. I remember reading that having many sex partners could directly lead to cancer. But yes, I think I was thinking of HPV. And no amount of condoms or anything can change the fact that a large number of sex partners can lead to cancer and infertility. Plus, he is exposing her to STDs that could really negatively affect her health, ability to reproduce, and quality of life (assuming he's cheating, that is). That's irresponsible and selfish. At least let her make an informed decision about what she wants to expose her body to.

jeeeez someone's a grumpy bum tonight!

this guy is a **** for cheating and he prolly has Aids and eveyother STD

I agree with Catherine

As much as I am in support of polyamory I have to say that you are showing yourself up to be more close minded than anyone that replied to you. The OP and her boyfriend are obviously not in an open relationship or she would have assumed the thong came from another girl and not have been so bothered. When not in an open relationship then we have every right to know who are partners are ******* (hopefully no one but us). There are thousands of people where polyamory works and it enriches their lives and experiences but there are equally thousands who want one person and one person only (at a time) and you have no right to tell them they are being controlling or any of the other cruel things you chose to call the OP. Frankly your post makes you come across as a person who is using polyamory as an excuse to do whatever you want, I imagine its news to your partners that you are in an open relationship. A relationship is not open if the other person doesn't know about it.

And furthermore it is not a sign of an enlightened mind that you have turned around and went "stuff this crap I'm gonna have loads of partners at once." The people I know with multiple partners respect each and every partner they have (most have two) there is nothing in your post that shows respect to anyone. And before you use your usual defense no I am not in high school, I am a grown woman who is really pissed off that you have decided to use a legitimate and loving form of relationship to warrant your behavoir.

wow.if he's her boyfriend and he's being unfaithful . then yes it is her business who he *****. unless they had already agreed to have an open relationship. But usually when you are in a relationship with someone you don't go around ******* other people.

ever heard of STDs!!!!!!!! ur dumb as shit. u think she want herpes? also if u actaully have a relationship worth shit, u wanna keep it goingq

wow your a dumbass. it's her business because if he is shagging other females- or males ESP. she could get a STD! stfu! methinks thou doth protest too much!

Learning to let go of jealousy and learning to love yourself and romantic partners goes along with RESPECT in the relationship. Respect means being devoted and loyal. Apparently you need to go BACK to high school if us high schoolers have more self-respect, respect for others, and loyalty than you do. And yes, some high schoolers do still believe in loyalty. We're the SMART ones.

But that's okay. You can have your sex partner, sleep around every other night, and cheat on your spouse. Let's see how many STDs **** up your life then. Then you can write an FML about it, and we'll all say you deserve it. Now, have a nice day.

well thank you! : )

@87 Judging by the way you write you aren't smart at all. You're far from it.

Excuse me?!? Really, now? Okay, and what proof do you have of that. Be specific, as I'm apparently too "stupid" to know exactly how I'm unintelligent for my comment, bitch. Your high school grades are (or were, depending on tour age, of course). Oh, btw, if your past, say... 25, you're sad and pathetic for trying to bash a 16 year old, Monsieur Douche.

Tiffany FTW! :)

Go play with matches. I'm getting all A's in AP classes, too. And FYI, bitch, my Dad's DEAD. But thanks for the insensitivity. By the way, my sentence WAS finished, I just accidentally put a period at the end, not a question mark. And at least I can spell "sentence".

Oh, I forgot, and distortedx, you still didn't provide "specific information" of my "stupidity". Avoiding it for some reason? Maybe so you don't look like a dumbass? Oh, never mind, it's too late.

At least I can spell "you're". Case and point for YOUR stupidity.

Oh wait I think I was reading a different post...my b

No, distortedx, I did accidentally put down "tour" instead of "your". But at least the y and t are right next to each other, which is hard to fix on an iPod. I will admit that mistake, but it was purely a technical mishap. With "sentence", there should have been spell check for you. "Should have" being the key words (this isnt meant to be insulting, but forgiving). Now, since we've both admitted at least potential mistakes, can we not virtually fight anymore? Please?

Oh, and I hope you know that I wasn't calling you a "douche," but a "shower in French. T'was just to appear as an insult so I could snicker about the truth of it. I apologize if the "shower" comment had insulted you, but I tried to give a hint by saying "monsieur". :)

even if the relationship was open she has every right to know who he's sleeping with. It's called being sexy responsible. She needs to be sure she doesn't catch a disease. I won't bash you for your beliefs but please be responsible and keep it safe

Wtf?

Who the hell cheated on you to make you so mean? God. Ummmmmmmm that does suck, being cheated on isn't fun. And it doesn't mean to cheat in return. Grow up

No, just no. They did not AGREE to be in an open relationship, therefore it IS cheating. If they agreed, it wouldn't be an issue. Do you just go into a relationship expecting it to be open one? Most people don't, so having an open relationship is something you need to discuss before it happened.

He's here boyfriend

God I hate that word

#5 you're ******* stupid

I agree with you about the cheating part, better he be a cross dresser, although I find that kind of disturbing nonetheless, maybe it's just cause I'm a guy haha

Overweight guy in a miniskirt and tube top ftw... *shudders*

Lol Maka, exactly how I feel. Disturbing to see an overweight person wear clothes that is too tight for them, not that the guy in the FML is fat though, but yeah haha

Glad you agree. (Got nothing against cross dressing) btw.. it wasn't a thought.. rather.. personal experience.. nightmares..

Lol! So you dream about it? xD That sucks, I haven't experienced anything like that.. guess I'm lucky =P.. although I remember this clearly obese girl that went to my elementary school *I go to college now* that use to wear tight clothes and her stomach slid underneath, she seemed to think she was very "hot" for who knows what reason, she had a BIG crush on one of my friends, sucked for him hahaha

She probably had one of those distorted mirrors(bent mirrors that make look skinny, fa- er.. wide, tall and short) I pray for your friend because I too use to have had a "well fed" guy in primary school who liked me and he offered me he's .. triple bacon and ham sandwhich smeared with barbecue sauce. Trying to be nice I took a bite and well.. nothing pretty happened afterwards(rant rant!) :<

haha, "well fed". Well it's good to know you weren't an ass about the um.. sandwich thing. Was that his way of hitting on you or something? lol

I guess so.. after the "accident" he started liking my friends and it got to a point where my friend.. well.. "chewed his head off" but overall he's a good guy who means well :) even well fed people can be lovable I guess

hahaha, good to know, my best friend is a "well fed" guy lol

@#10 tht comment was just a lil wacked dnt ya think ?

Yo dawg I like the way you think. No **** but I would put my dick in your anus.

@10: man, your comment had me rolling. However, I never would consider turds of any size cute. LOL

Dawg I would also put my dick in your anus.

There's nothing troll about polyamoury. It's the highest and most free form of human relationship, a free expression of love and desire. Many of history's greatest minds, from Jim Morrison to Simone de Beauvoir, went most of their lives without monogamy. Simone de Beauvoir and Jean Paul Sartre ****** like rabbits and were very much in love with each other but would have never dreamed of repressing themselves or each other like that.

I owe my partner(s) nothing. My business is my business and their business is their business. If they don't have the maturity to maintain multiple relationships, they have no right to project their frustrations and insecurities onto me. I wear condoms and I don't **** strangers or people with diseases (even though that, again, is no-one else's business but your own) and unless someone knows they have an STD, they are under no legal or moral obligation to tell their partners. Even so, it is of no concern who or how many people you have been with but simply the fact that you have a disease that is transmittable through sexual intercourse. It's a standard disclaimer: "Attention: I have HIV. **** me at your own risk. You know what you're getting into." So no, it's not "unfair" if I don't tell my partners every single inconsequential detail of my life. Unless it poses harm to them (and real harm, not hysterical "hurrrrr everyone who sleeps around has AIDS" harm) I am under no obligation to tell them what I have no desire to tell them. If they have simply assumed our relationship was monogamous and have limited their freedom accordingly, that's their loss that they have brought upon themselves. Monogamy is not a natural state, nor is a healthy state. It's possessive. Unless you and your partner have given explicit mutual informed consent to limit yourselves to each other and being in a monogamous relationship with each other, you've got license to date and **** other people. Far too many people commit far too early and far too few bad reasons.

So, Sir Jackass Troll, does this mean that cheating on your (general 'you') spouse, to whom you've dedicated your life, loyalty, happiness, etc. to, is MORE than acceptable?!?!? Because it's not. Because marriage is a bond between 2 people, that God is witness to. Unless you haven't seen the scandal that surrounds Tiger Woods now. Then I understand your confusion (I'm not busting on Tiger. Just you.)