Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
That's not how it works
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Excuse me
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Letting off steam
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Brat era
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Top comments
mobius8 0
Wow, you were prepared to defend their kids with a knife? That's awesome. I'd hire you.
hidude12 0
awkward turtle...
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Comments (125)
Tigro_fml 0
Yeah, defin #9, we need a so what button :) My bro babysat for my moms old boss all the time while she was home just so she could get work done. Although the parents should have mentioned "we'll be upstairs enjoying ourselves, we never get free time anymore"
Meganvliet 0
You guys haven't even noticed that she was told the parents would be gone on arrival. So the parents would just leave the kids alone she believed? What if she hadn't shown up. Thy wouldn't do that. So itsba fake or exaggeration. Stupid.
GabriLee 0
I hope they hire you again. I would definitely hire you considering you're so dedicated to protecting their kids you would face someone with a knife. Go you.
rukusrazor 0
YDI for interrupting what was to be epic tantric sex. (Well, if you're planning on doing it long enough to hire a babysitter, that's tantric)
Jaywin 3
It's just F their life really. I mean really they're the ones who got caught screwing by you and their kids. But this whole thing still isn't THAT bad.
deliciouskaek 1
Why else do you think babysitters get paid? To wear out the kids *for* them, so that by the time they get home, the kids are in bed, and they can get back to what they were doing *before* the kids got there. Granted, they usually wait until the sitter's gone...
lnm701 0
That's awkward, no doubt about it. But who cares? You got paid.
ohhhhshizzz 0
#16: How does the OP need to "grow up" What makes them immature in this situation? That they don't wanna hear two grown ups *******? Yeah, or that they were prepared to kill intruders? Oh well they are so ******* immature. Sides, they should have left like to a hotel. Who cares if they are having sex but at least keep it down, or if you wanna scream leave. Bwahah, threesome?
hahaha6 0
Thank you # 35! I was going to be just as alarmed by the fact that they were 'gone' when the babysitter arrived....
Ibeapirate 0
And they were too cheap to go get a hotel room? Wow. that's lame AND bizarre.