Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
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Top comments
mobius8 0
Wow, you were prepared to defend their kids with a knife? That's awesome. I'd hire you.
hidude12 0
awkward turtle...
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Comments (125)
aet9442 0
The parents should have a FML for having to higher a babysitter just so they could have sex...
ihatestupidpeopl_fml 0
WHO THE **** CARES! THIS IS THE STUPIDEST STORY I'VE EVER HEARD. YOU SUCK SO MUCH...YOU'RE STILL GETTING PAID, SO WHO CARES WHAT THE PARENTS ARE DOING!!!! ******* LAME ASS STORY! IM BACK MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
jgardner12 0
The parents don't have to tell you exactly what you doing, so stop bitching. You still got paid so who cares if the parents were having sex and not out of the house.
bymyserendipity 0
Psh... I used to babysit for a couple who had swingers parties while the kids and I were there.
mikaela33194 0
Today my wife and I were in the middle of really great sex when the babysitter interrupted with a knife in her hand. I had to pay for a cockblock. FML
mmary1395 0
that sucks...haha. number 1.
whattayacare 0
what kind of parents would leave the house BEFORE the sitter got there? I think this is a sham...someone trying to get rated...you deserve it.
Hullaballoo 0
You got paid. Poor you
ravinshrestha 0
You got paid for them to get laid. gahhh im up with the rhymes today. It would have been more akward if you sliced his dick off accidentally with that knife
userjoe9066 0
Thats not an FML at all thats just ****** funny lol