By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 938
You deserved it 5 415

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So you are dealing with a real life version of Chucky?

How long were things going well? 10 minutes?

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So you are dealing with a real life version of Chucky?

I was thinking more like the Joker: "we're tonight's entertainment"..

How long were things going well? 10 minutes?

Seriously. And how did they get ahold of a knife and lite the grill if they were actually being watched?

I agree, things were not going well they were just in the planing mode

Well that escalated quickly

This stupid phrase needs to go the way of the dodo and "arrow to the knee".

Those phrases would be gone by now they they took an arrow to the knee and now they can't move

They have two legs, they can limp along just fine. If it becomes necessary, I'm sure we'd have no shortage of volunteers for carrying them to a ditch somewhere.

I used to be a trite commenter like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

did you know "taking an arrow to the knee" is actually Norse slang for getting married?

Sounds exactly like my patients and their brothers. Except he would have actually stabbed him and lit him on fire.

Children are such a joy...

Sarcasm at its finest :)

^ you don't say?

Kids ARE a joy and if you don't feel that way I pity you.

73 get over yourself, not everyone has to love kids. I pity YOU for being such an uncompromising bitch.

well at least they arent playing on their mobile the whole time...

He said, while making a comment on the phone app.

He might of been using the computer

#7 was just trying to make a light joke. Hey, some babysitters just plop the kids in front of the TV and feed them junk food. But I guess as long as they're returned alive without the house burning down, it'll be a good day!

Tablet app* btw haha Im awful at making comments ._.

Sounds like an interesting group

Are you positive you weren't baby sitting the devil and the angels children? Or possibly Lucifer ?

Before the devil feel from heaven he was called Lucifer.

I guess it's safe to say you're not babysitting there again.

Ok, if the kids had time to do all that then you weren't watching them very well at all!

Actually it could be easy for one to sneak out of the OP's line of sight. I babysit twin boys and they're constantly doing this thing where one will cause a distraction (spilling juice, throwing things, climbing on things, trying to break things) so that the other one can sneak off. You'd be surprised at how crafty little children can be.

The people who say things like this ("If only you had been watching them!") are the ones who have never had the responsibility for small children. Those little bastards are much faster and MUCH more cunning than you could believe.

I don't know, that's a whole lotta steps that could have been prevented. A good caretaker knows that kids are indeed crafty and needs to be one step ahead of them at all times. Okay, the kid got ahold of a knife but it should have been taken away long before he had time to duct tape it to the gun. Now he has matches-- again taken away before he lit anything. And the kid heading to the roof? Stopped before reaching the top. Etc. . .

I agree Enslaved and I'll go one further; if you get them doing something constructive instead of allowing them to choose something destructive it works out a whole lot better! Yes, every kid can get into mischief now and then but that is excessive.

I have to say both sides are correct. Children can be evil masterminds, adept in the dark arts, cunning and swift. However, anyone caring for theses demon seeds should anticipate this! There really is no excusing that the babysitter missed this little bastard collecting, assembling, and putting to use the number of contraband items need to rain hell on the household. A fire, a knife or a jumper on the roof maybe, but not all three!

51, but if the child(ren) is/are especially destructive, getting them to sit down and be calm is a whole different issue. The twins I babysit? The more rowdy one gets, the more rowdy the other one gets, and no amount of calming activities will get them to chill out until they're good and ready. Like I said before, children are crafty, and when it comes to one who's especially rowdy, it's difficult to keep them in your line of sight 24/7, especially if they leave a path of destruction in their wake that YOU have to clean up before someone else gets hurt either by tripping, slipping, or stepping on something sharp.

76 I used to babysit twin boys too, and my oldest 2 girls were 19 months apart, so I know how challenging it is! It doesn't have to be calm and sitting down, just structured, play chase, or football etc. I'd leave hide and seek in op's case though, just asking for more trouble.

It still depends of the children. The boys I babysir? Watercolor turns into trying to paint the carpet, coloring turns into trying to draw on the walls, running around turns into them trying to physically harm each other. Not all kids are that easy to calm down.