Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
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Top comments
mobius8 0
Wow, you were prepared to defend their kids with a knife? That's awesome. I'd hire you.
hidude12 0
awkward turtle...
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Comments (125)
judgeymcjudge 0
While I agree with #3, I also agree with #11. **** yeah, Seaking.
spacetaco 0
Threesome? I mean, if you get paid, OBVIOUSLY they want you to do something more than watch their kid.
spaerro 8
Are you in sixth grade or something, Duckface?
ekim300 26
Yes, because EVERY employee is hired by their superiors just to obviously have sex.
tatertot8284 0
Lol I'd be so disturbed not gonna lie.
i_like_chicks 0
if the parents need some time for themselves to have sex, whats the big deal?! grow up!
imadonkeymoo 0
RAPIST (that's you) RAPIST
AntiChrist7 0
never babysit. the kids are a pest, and now the parents also. YDI
Yulia_fml 0
whatever, when you're an adult with kids, you'll think that their idea was genius. I just think it's smarter to get a hotel room or keep it down so their kids don't hear them having sex.
freddie_fml 0
The important thing here is the "I got paid" part. This isn't an FML, except that you overreacted. As long as they were paying you, what they were doing is none of your business.
diana491141 0
Dude, you got paid. I see no problem. The fact that you walked in on them may be FML, but not that they hired you so they could have sex.
housemd1120 0
They got laid. You got paid.