Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
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Top comments
mobius8 0
Wow, you were prepared to defend their kids with a knife? That's awesome. I'd hire you.
hidude12 0
awkward turtle...
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Comments (125)
Otium_fml 3
I wonder why the parents didn't go somewhere else to do that...? Too lazy? Didn't want to pay for a room? Anyway, It was pretty brave of you though.
curryndricegirll 0
#70, wtf? 1, they could have already been there. second of all, she did notice that's why she came in with a knife. 2, she wasn't playing with a knife, genius. She grabbed the knife later so that she could fight off the person. 3, it doesn't matter if the freaking bedroom is off-limits. If there is a burglar, you go in the freaking room and you CUT HIM! Anyway, if they didn't want her to come, they should have locked the door. 4, The point is that it's close and disgusting. Not to be a complete jerk, but it's not BS just because you don't get it. Anyway, the parents should have had the decency to go somewhere else and do whatever they needed to do. What would have happened if one of the kids heard the screaming, they would have been scared out of their minds, and possibly themselves, have caught the parents. But hey, at least you got paid, right? But I can understand how that could suck, because I would have been pretty freaked out too.
swimchica 0
haha- at first i read this and thought you said that the kids were having sex!
LovelyCutiePie 0
So what if the parents wanted some time alone to do things? Sure they could have taken it elsewhere, but maybe they didn't have much money to rent a hotel. They probably should have been a little quiter nonetheless....
p89hg69 0
creepy
roachspray 0
#50, I agree. OP: What do you care what the parents were doing? They're paying you to watch the kids so they don't have to for a while.
sunshyne84_fml 0
This situation is so weird. They shouldn't have lied and said they would be gone. They could have just told u to take them outside for a few hours so they could have some alone time or something.
missus_butter 0
Okay, it just looks weird for people to pay someone to come to their house while they have sex. There's a possibility that OP isn't an appropriate age for that to be going on. And even if OP is age-appropriate, they should not be drawn into something like that without being informed. If word was out in the neighborhood, they could earn an unwanted reputation as a paid 3-way participant or something.
Ahahahahahahaha_fml 0
I'd drop the money and ask for a threesome.
Xeeon 0
I'd love to get paid for letting people have sex.