Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
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Top comments
mobius8 0
Wow, you were prepared to defend their kids with a knife? That's awesome. I'd hire you.
hidude12 0
awkward turtle...
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Comments (125)
Travestie616 0
I'm pretty sure the FML is the part where they hired her so they could have loud sex a few feet away from her and their children, and didn't bother to even let her know they'd still be in the house, let alone screwing >_>
nikki1001 0
That's weird. When parents want "alone time" and hire a babysitter....don't they usually go OUT to do the deed? Why would they need a babysitter if they were just doing it at home? Was that the first time they've done it since having kids? Weird. Whatever, at least you got paid.
were_giraffe 2
Um. OK? So what? They paid you. Unless you now *don't* want the money? #9 you are totally right. Of course we also need a ROFL button too :D
spongebobrocks 0
Agree with #9... Parents need some time off, too :]
gern55 0
#3 and #9 +1
Victoria2103 0
They didn't think you'd notice? They should have told you to take the kids out of the house, at least, if mom's a screamer. ;P
RNorthlandLGB 0
a knife? rofl
Geeky_Warrior 0
Everyone is missing the point that he (or she) was told that the house would not have the parents there when he arrived. So if the parents were in fact to stay, they should have said so rather than lie like that. The OP had the right to call the police really, I would do that rather than go take on something with a knife.
pinkfakecheez 0
FYL and FTL (**** their lives). I mean, think about it from the kids' point of view. They hear a scream and are informed that it's their parents doing it. 0_o I'd be mentally scarred if that happened to me. Also, they should have gone to a hotel. I'm surprised you even got paid if they're too cheap to go somewhere else. Final point: "I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand..." It's a good job the kids didn't decide to go play in mommy and daddy's bedroom. Would have been worse. #17, grow up. She's not a rapist just because she was babysitting and found people having sex. Use a dictionary.
Alex_DeLarge 0
Ahahaha #5 is totally Dwight Schrute