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By Jeff / Tuesday 15 July 2014 20:37 / United States
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idk, usually saying "are you going to finish that?" is just a polite way of asking "can i have that?". Not his fault she didnt know that

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Maybe. Being direct is good but one can't do it all the time for everything. If I was put in the doghouse every time I ask if my gf is done with her food Id be single by now. Op's gf should be giving him the benefit of the doubt when it comes to interpretations of passing phrases just like he should do for her. I don't sense much trust in the relationship at this point though.

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I agree 139. I couldn't imagine getting peeved at every little thing my boyfriend says because I took it the wrong way. this is why it's better to ask to clarify, it saves both parties a lot of unnecessary aggravation. also, and maybe it's just me, but if I was putting on a few pounds, and my boyfriend said something, I'd take it into consideration. "hm, maybe I can save the rest of my meal for later. (or offer him a bite!)" but alas all women don't operate this way.

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Proper communication IS key. I don't know that "Are you going to finish that?" counts as proper communication. You know what my boyfriend asks when he wants a bite of my food? "Could I please have a bite?" Direct, clear, and polite. However, I WILL grant that OP's girlfriend completely overreacted. I might get a little annoyed if someone asked me if I was going to finish my food, because it makes me feel rushed, but it is a VERY minor annoyance and doesn't deserve the reacti

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It's a very common way of politely asking for the rest of someone's meal. Asides from calling you "fat" what else would you possibly interpret that as?

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Whenever my BF and I go out to eat, we always choose two entrées that we both like/want to try and split in. Sharing is caring.

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Maybe he just didn't want to waste food. He was asking for what she didn't finish. That's not him being greedy. Also, why order an entire other meal if someone doesn't finish theirs. People tend to waste a lot of food.

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Sharing is caring yo. She didn't have to give him any if she wanted it, that's why he asked.

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48, I think not being able to share a bite of food with your SO is more greedy than him simply asking for a taste. I can't believe how stingy people are to vehemently refuse to share a bite of food. jesus. no one's "inner, or outer for that matter, fat person" will starve because you gave up a small portion of your entire meal.

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Why is sharing food so difficult? My very first date with my last boyfriend, the first thing he did was offer me a bite of his meal. "Try this, it's good!" Trying one another's food became a habit on our dates and was actually a lot of fun. If you care about someone, you want them to experience "good stuff."

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If a man's an asshole, he's just an asshole, if a woman's an asshole, it's because a man was an asshole. Sounds fair.

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I see your point but it's nobody's job to raise someone's self-esteem. By all means, it's good to give compliments but a person shouldn't need validation from others to know they're worth. That's their job.

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Well to be fair, 111, by committing to a relationship, you're kind of taking responsibility for each others happiness. It's not only OP's job to keep her confident, but it shouldn't be an every-man-for-himself scenario.

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You're not taking responsibility for someone else's happiness just by committing to a relationship. You shouldn't be dependent on anyone for your happiness ever.

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Hm, really? Well I guess if that somehow works for you, and you like dating guys that don't care too much about you, that's fine. More power to you?

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Of course you should give your partner praise and complement them when you're in a relationship. I wasn't saying you shouldn't. I was saying the a person shouldn't need constant validation from there partner to feel good about themselves. That could get tiring. It's really annoying when you give someone a compliment and they reply with "no I'm not", or " you're just saying that." Confidence is one of the sexiest traits, in my opinion at least.

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If he in no way stated or implied that she was fat then there is no excuse for that extreme of a reaction

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Or they're just complete idiots who believe people that hate them but not their friends. I knew a girl (cheating ex girlfriend) who believed that because her bully from primary (elementary) school told her she's fat, she must lose as much weight as possible, literally starve herself to become skinny, and anytime I told her she is lovely the way she is she would call me a liar and talk to some random stranger about how she wants to bounce on their huge dick. Girls just confuse me.

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I think he was being straightforward, asking "are you going to finish that" is pretty commonly known as "can I have some." I don't think he worded this wrong at all.

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No the secret is finding a girl that will give you true information about our secret club. If you can find a girl that will tell you the truth and honest opinion that is the grail.

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By  JJ_86

Talk with her and explain what you meant. And maybe have a deeper talk on why she feels that insecure once she is in good mood.

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