Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use...

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 192

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Charlie Given 25

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Saturday 30 March 2019 2:56

Sounds like she was planning on breaking up at the dinner and just used that as the excuse.

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 30 March 2019 3:14

Sounds like the best thing that could have happened

MidnaLink 33

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Saturday 30 March 2019 2:11

She does understand how “random chance” works, right?

Charlie Given 25

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Saturday 30 March 2019 2:56

Sounds like she was planning on breaking up at the dinner and just used that as the excuse.

tounces7 27

Sunday 31 March 2019 6:39

Clearly she's not very creative or very bright then, if that's the best she could come up with.

Topper369 3

Saturday 30 March 2019 3:03

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 30 March 2019 3:14

Sounds like the best thing that could have happened

chosha_fml 25

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Saturday 30 March 2019 3:22

Thank God. Imagine being with someone that stupid and unfair long term.

manb91uk 22

Saturday 30 March 2019 3:44

Do you see that bullet next to you? Yep, you dodged it! Well done, buddy!

GamerChickxoxo 16

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Saturday 30 March 2019 3:58

-a moment of silence for our fallen comrade -did you atleast get a doggy bag for the bitch ?

demix_fml 32

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Saturday 30 March 2019 4:41

Lucky escape?....

RichardPencil 30

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Saturday 30 March 2019 4:49

Yeah, that’s the real reason. You don’t want to know...

Bubbilility 27

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Saturday 30 March 2019 5:42

Was she not there to pick her food? How long was she in the toilet? This is just strange behaviour. You might be better off.

Nearly

Today, I struck out with two potential girlfriends, and then found out Jason David Frank died. I grew up with Power Rangers. Both types of heartbreak on one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 23

Today, I ate an apple. It was good. It was red. inside was not red. red is cool. cool things are red. I like pizza. pizza is good. pizza has the letter Z in it. Z is a cool letter. I like Z. I wonder why zzz means sleeping. Sleeping has an S and not a Z. I like winning. Winning is good. Losing is bad. Bad is not good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 45

Spicy

Today, having been in a bit of a dry spell, my husband woke up feeling frisky. I was feeling it too, but I asked if he could get up and brush his teeth as I’d already brushed mine and wanted to have some fun. Instead, he stormed off, insisting I'd ruined the mood. Sorry but morning breath is gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 214

Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 270

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