Miscellaneous: Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her...

By DF - Israel - Rehovot

Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML

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Miscellaneous

Coherence dude, do you have it?

The smell detective is on the case

Gentle

By Iceicebaby - United Kingdom - London

Today, after getting out the car and closing the door, I began walking and slipped on some black ice. In the moment of panic, I grabbed onto my car wing mirror. Luckily, I didn't hit the deck. Unluckily, the wing mirror broke off. FML

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By wtf - Canada

Today, I found out my wife isn't cheating. She says she's just getting older and sex isn't important anymore. She's 27. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Round Lake

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Conroe

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

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By Facebook - United States

Today, I logged into facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, they were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

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By TabbiNicole - United States

Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML

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By roo - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

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By BERNDTOAST - United States - Dearborn

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

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By motherlessbride - United States

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

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By 3rd wheel, 2nd dick

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

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By Anon - United States

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

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By Megan - United Kingdom - Neath

Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML

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By Courtney - United States

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

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By MyNameIsNotJeff - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

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32146

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By Tey - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

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By Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina - United States - Garden Grove

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

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By Broken - United Arab Emirates

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

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By Rick - United States

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

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By ILTali - United States

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

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By AllyCat - United States

Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML

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By Mandy - Canada

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

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By toyotasmash - United States

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

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By skidoosh - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

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32180

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By sparky83000 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

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By ktm1313 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I donated blood for the first time. It wasn't until I passed out on the ice during hockey practice that I remembered the nurse warning me not to do any type of exercise. FML

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By bluemonday - Canada

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

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By marray - United States - Aurora

Today, I received a grade of 0 for a paper I worked really hard on. When I emailed my professor for feedback, she told me she gave me a 0 because I misspelled Colombia as "Columbia" and that she's not responsible for my low IQ. FML

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By dez - United States - Louisville

Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't have an email, I have a Gmail." FML

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13464

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By hantavirus - United States

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, despite being the fittest member of my family, with a good exercise routine and a decent diet, I'm the only one who was just diagnosed with diabetes. Meanwhile, the rest of my family are fat, lazy slobs who eat like shit, but are otherwise healthy as horses FML

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By relievedbutashamed

Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML

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1826

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By SalonGirl - United States

Yeet the feet

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

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By gotta_respond - United States - Piscataway

Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML

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By Ignitingmylightsaber - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

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23658

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By Yudith

Today, at work, a customer pulled down her pants and lifted her sweater to reveal a hole in her chest full of greenish, stinky goo. I don't work in anything health-related. FML

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By Anonymous

No exit! No choice!

Today, I drove my car and suddenly I got diarrhea & shit my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then, one of my work mates saw my car and came to say hello, she saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

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2128

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By shiftybizniss - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

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By musicyman55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

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Top comments

By jazzy_123 | 20

#5989433 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:19

hey some people just aren't that good at bowling. I'm terrible at it and always get last anytime I play with my bf and his family. that's embarrassing lol

By kelsorg | 21

#5989444 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:21

blame it on the guardrails? unless she had none... then you fail

COMMENTS

By bosniangirl27 | 21

#5989432 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:18

Lol

By jazzy_123 | 20

#5989433 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:19

hey some people just aren't that good at bowling. I'm terrible at it and always get last anytime I play with my bf and his family. that's embarrassing lol

Roskosity | 22

#5989490 - Friday 27 June 2014 0:13

When I bowl, my thumb gets stuck.

jazzy_123 | 20

#5989498 - Friday 27 June 2014 0:28

your comment is completely normal but add a picture like that and it sound so mental haha

Demig0d6 | 14

#5989657 - Friday 27 June 2014 5:21

Plot twist: op's girlfriend is also 3 years old

Preposterous | 8

#5989750 - Friday 27 June 2014 7:40

#44, ahhh...no. Just no.

MisterEx | 28

#5989860 - Friday 27 June 2014 9:10

#44 - day 32. The subject is showing tendencies for pedophilia. I am going to wait couple more days before taking him down town. How's that for a plot twist?

Nezumi04 | 20

#6277218 - Wednesday 29 April 2015 19:46

Alright. I'm just gonna say it: "Niko it your cousin! Let's go bowling!"

By superrocket19 | 17

#5989435 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:19

Bowling is one of the hardest sports. Beginners luck... :)

xNotCreative | 13

#5989588 - Friday 27 June 2014 3:29

I can't even begin to tell you how wrong you are.

SystemofaBlink41 | 27

#5989627 - Friday 27 June 2014 4:39

Seriously, I have more precision playing basketball. And that's saying something.

piff7 | 14

#5990695 - Saturday 28 June 2014 5:55

#38, try bowling a game over 200 and not leaving an open a single frame. Which since you seem ignorant enough to not know what an open is it means that you didn't get a strike or a spare

Misskreher | 30

#6493685 - Saturday 26 December 2015 5:22

Physically, no. Mentally, definitely. I'm on my schools bowling team and it takes a LOT of focus.

By ositoakaluis | 16

#5989436 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:19

kids can be talented too Op

By FMLkoala | 28

#5989437 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:19

Hate to be a grammar nazi but I think you mean points not point.

jazzy_123 | 20

#5989446 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:21

I'm pretty sure OP didn't write it in singular form on purpose.

Foto_1 | 12

#5989458 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:27

"Many point" is incorrect. Even if OP is trying to imply he only got one point, many means "a large number of" so you'll always be using plural for a word following it.

rocker_chick105 | 31

#5989582 - Friday 27 June 2014 3:09

Not only is OP's grammar fine, but you are a threadjacker as well. Congrats!

By kelsorg | 21

#5989444 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:21

blame it on the guardrails? unless she had none... then you fail

JJ_86 | 22

#5989525 - Friday 27 June 2014 1:17

Or it could be that the kid just got lucky. My best score in bowling is still the one I got the very first time I rolled.

By blackbeltballet | 4

#5989452 - Thursday 26 June 2014 23:23

Lmao..her brother In law? That means she's married. Sorry son

mellyski | 25

#5989483 - Friday 27 June 2014 0:03

#8, His girlfriends sister is married. So the girlfriend has a brother-in-law, not a husband.

R3TROxLOV3 | 32

#5989499 - Friday 27 June 2014 0:35

Clearly you're not the brightest. How on earth did you get that the girlfriend is married from "brother-in-law"? The name itself implies that he's married to a sibbling of hers..