Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family....

By Jacquelinez - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27982

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3096

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Miscellaneous

Understandable

New Man

Such a healthy environment

By cnd1213 - United States

Today, I had to do my assistant manager's job because she doesn't know what the hell she is doing. I'd interviewed for this position but didn't get it because I'm "still too new for this position." FML

I agree, your life sucks

19952

You deserved it

1335

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By loser doctor - Philippines

Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26007

You deserved it

4326

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By Foreveralone

We're all that one person

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that that person is me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1515

You deserved it

148

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By Anonymous

Dr House

Today, I was trying to ease off a caffeine headache. I ended up getting a Brain Freeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1120

You deserved it

304

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By chucklesman96 - Canada - Westerose

Today, I got shot in the leg while taking a firearms safety course. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9129

You deserved it

1132

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By BoBandy

Today, I finally went to the hospital for a week-long migraine. A few Saturdays ago I went to the park to play frisbee with my friends and coworkers. While climbing a fence, I fell and hit my head twice. Turns out I have a severe concussion and a swollen brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2610

You deserved it

866

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By klsdhjla - United States

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25139

You deserved it

5576

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By rainonmyparade - United States

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27613

You deserved it

3558

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By MartinGitGud - 13/3/2021 08:01

Real friends

Today, I was saying goodbye to all my close friends before I move out of state. I'd made plans with one friend in particular to meet up before I move away; he didn't bother to respond to my message or calls. Guess I confused a coworker for a friend, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks

820

You deserved it

121

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By blackitalian - United States

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15107

You deserved it

31717

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By howard1954 - 27/10/2020 17:02

Where are you?

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to take him 30 minutes away to meet his friends so he could go fishing, adding that they wouldn't be gone all night. I dropped him off 13 hours ago, and he doesn't have a phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

912

You deserved it

216

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By denise - United States

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25769

You deserved it

4924

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By ReluctantAntEater - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36973

You deserved it

3561

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By Anonymous - 16/6/2020 02:02

Freaked out

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1936

You deserved it

222

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By Oops

Today, someone broke the flush on the toilet in the only female bathroom in the office, and didn’t leave either a note or out of order sign. The broken flush became very apparent, however, after I was unable to flush the vile smelling deposit I’d left in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3437

You deserved it

384

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77853

You deserved it

5347

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By a816090

Family portrait

Today, my boyfriend sent a picture of me posing with our dog to his family via a group text. Along with our 25" bong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

733

You deserved it

1220

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By sleepy - United States - Grand Forks

Today, I was the DJ for a company party that was supposed to end at 11 p.m. The company ended up wanting music late and my boss made me stay there until they got tired, which ended up being 3 a.m. I start work at my other job at 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10495

You deserved it

984

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By Chewy - United Kingdom

Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45412

You deserved it

4234

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17907

You deserved it

55905

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By Sam - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24066

You deserved it

3603

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By BahHumbug - United States - Painesville

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17916

You deserved it

7819

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By sadphonegirl - Canada - Brampton

Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17111

You deserved it

24744

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By Wendie - United States

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36462

You deserved it

8560

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By TacoMan32 - Canada

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11064

You deserved it

617

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By I Tried - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20365

You deserved it

3613

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By ohcrap - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24840

You deserved it

2555

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By 123literateABC - United States - Grand Haven

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22420

You deserved it

1514

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26158

You deserved it

2291

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By Black Cat 13 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36034

You deserved it

3499

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By camp - United States

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80893

You deserved it

27556

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By oxjessiiox - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59019

You deserved it

29716

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By Anonymous - Italy - Verona

Today, my fiancé and I had to attend a wedding. Problem is, I suffer from a severe form of social anxiety. Since I was getting too close to a panic attack, he suggested drinking some wine to help me stay calm, and it worked. Up until I got drunk and threw up in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13305

You deserved it

2728

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By Anonymous

Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3681

You deserved it

257

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25141

You deserved it

3564

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By Anonymous - 13/4/2021 02:00

Caught!

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me, thanks to a friend's TikTok account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

865

You deserved it

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By loser4life - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12396

You deserved it

79285

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By HomeAlone - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9843

You deserved it

21159

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73157

You deserved it

30689

Favorite

By Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15178

You deserved it

46885

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Top comments

By elerbears | 9

#4460752 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:04

mini golf is serious shit

By THE_A_TEEN | 27

#4460764 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:06

This is the part where you shove your putter up his arse and yell "HOLE IN ONE".

COMMENTS

By OL_What_FER | 1

#4460747 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

tjv3 | 10

#4460767 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:06

Sounds like he is a sore loser. Better run.

ucoolgirl31 | 20

#4460806 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:09

I hate it when guys get embarrassed when girls are better at things. I like it when guys are ok with it.

Roevera | 14

#4460993 - Monday 21 May 2012 2:14

Oh, okay 1.. cause i'm sure that would solve all their relationship problems.

HoboSmeller | 6

#4461122 - Monday 21 May 2012 3:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Boygenius50 | 8

#4461539 - Monday 21 May 2012 5:19

41, it would appear that your sarcasm detector needs new batteries.

trivel64 | 16

#4461577 - Monday 21 May 2012 5:33

It's hilariously ironic how you can say that but not understand HER sarcasm, 41.

starman02 | 12

#4461714 - Monday 21 May 2012 6:26

LOL! I thought the FML was funny! Some people ( gals and guys) get so competitive! I hate losing!

Tali147 | 16

#4461734 - Monday 21 May 2012 6:33

I think you can tell a lot about a man by his reaction when he is not the best at something. My Hamud is proud that I am a good shot and doesnt get mad that this means he is not as good with guns. He is better at many things.

kyarush | 10

#4461837 - Monday 21 May 2012 7:12

Lol That's awesome

taco_bender | 12

#4461876 - Monday 21 May 2012 7:27

If you can't beat her in mini golf join her.

taco_bender | 12

#4461889 - Monday 21 May 2012 7:30

Just take her paintballing after.

By thanks_asshole | 2

#4460749 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:04

he's a keeper

cradle6 | 13

#4460836 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:12

I disagree. He sounds like a prick.

Your call though

reddudeover | 2

#4460903 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:32

He's a creeper!

GuyFluteBandGeek | 0

#4461048 - Monday 21 May 2012 2:33

That's what I said, too.

dogluver900 | 2

#4461168 - Monday 21 May 2012 3:23

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

white16sox | 19

#4461324 - Monday 21 May 2012 4:08

There is a difference between sarcasm and using a crappy overused comment.

shellz102 | 12

#4461504 - Monday 21 May 2012 5:08

You just questioned his manhood. Don't ever do that...

ddddddddg | 9

#4461787 - Monday 21 May 2012 6:54

How original

nateiztite | 5

#4473461 - Wednesday 23 May 2012 23:28

#70 i've never seen that comment used on this site before. I'd say it's not that over used at all.

By jesspie | 8

#4460750 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:04

what a dick.

Rosado | 0

#4460839 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:13

I don't know. Some people are way too competitive over such shit like that, and always get best of some people. It's better to have fun than striking one.

moodi_fml | 0

#4460927 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:40

I hope he solves his jealously issues before marriage or they should end their relationship now

Wreakorofhavoc | 1

#4460968 - Monday 21 May 2012 2:05

That's not a jealousy issue. He's probably just very competitive.

boofgall | 16

#4463078 - Monday 21 May 2012 15:59

If I heard that, I probably would've said, "Oh yeah? You're dangerously close to losing this game."

Us3rn4m3_H3r3 | 9

#5550471 - Monday 24 June 2013 22:04

You're a fucking genius, 118. That was hilarious.

By elerbears | 9

#4460752 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:04

mini golf is serious shit

TheMysticSilas | 0

#4461192 - Monday 21 May 2012 3:28

^agree

white16sox | 19

#4461532 - Monday 21 May 2012 5:15

This is why we have the thumbs up/ thumbs down feature. Instead of making a comment saying " I agree," you just hit that thumbs up button.

PYLrulz | 17

#4461619 - Monday 21 May 2012 5:50

Yes it is...

... Maybe that's why my previous girlfriend broke up with me a while back

By MEM0817 | 18

#4460757 - Monday 21 May 2012 1:05

It's not your fault you're awesome! Tell him to bugger off. :]

tygerarmy | 35

#4461079 - Monday 21 May 2012 2:50

I'd wait 'til the end of the game, then say "hey honey, just like this game we're over."
Anyone who'd break up with you over a game isn't worth your time.

dogluver900 | 2

#4461185 - Monday 21 May 2012 3:26

Yet your telling op to break up with him over a game @51

Shrike | 22

#4461201 - Monday 21 May 2012 3:30

Not over a game - over his immaturity and obvious anger issues.

beastroish | 0

#4461782 - Monday 21 May 2012 6:52

5- Haah!! I love your shirt!

bvxf | 2

#4462152 - Monday 21 May 2012 8:52

Boobs

EvilTwerp | 12

#4462957 - Monday 21 May 2012 15:24

Ah sweet Jesus. The fact that you capitalized and used correct punctuation satisfies me! It's hard to believe that a grammar enthusiast site is allowing that sort of behavior.