Today, I went for dinner and bowling with a woman I met online. The Mexican food was great but my bowels started feeling it during our first game. I slipped on the bowling lane and the impact of my ass hitting the ground made me shit myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML
Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML
Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
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Top comments
mcdgaf 14
Love at first wipe.
tonyfan00 38
Going to the intersection of Stool Avenue and Diarrhea Lane?
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Comments (13)
mcdgaf 14
Love at first wipe.
tonyfan00 38
Going to the intersection of Stool Avenue and Diarrhea Lane?
Christina Parkman 3
That's a really shifty situation. Guess there won't be a number 2 but hey shit happens.
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
I feel really bad for because i am pretty sure i would have similar luck on a date like that.
jriley4u 17
You will forever be in her stories of the guy she once went out with that shit his pants.
dexter420 21
Dude. Mexican. First date. Really?
Nina 34
Mexican for every date is how you win a girl's heart.
RichardPencil 32
You didn’t have a spare pair of underwear? That’s one strike against you.
Glowworm56 27
I guess the bowling turned into boweling!
jessicagetsitdone 3
Jenn is just one who said that she doesn't want to explain that he was like I thought you said he would I will take this because we can't get applebees vehicles are still at least you don't find out who said that she didn't really need me for filing civil complaint about his wife has no place that we know about them new to me and my wife was on our house so I don't see what he has a little more than any chance to get up and go with this guy has never heard of the way you could not believe the way I was thinking you anyone
Cali 57
What in the world are you on about, Jessica?
Nina 34
I think there's a secret message hidden in there
megatron2004 3
gotdamn....