Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my overprotective dad bolted all of my windows shut so that I don't turn out like my sister and sneak out or sneak boys in. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
Today, my stepmom accused me of creeping around, acting sneaky, and maybe even planning to kill her in her sleep because I’m "still angry at my dad divorcing my mom and marrying her." All I did was get up at 2 a.m. for a pee at coincidentally the same time as she was going outside for a cigarette. FML
Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML
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Top comments
swoozie23 6
Put your own lock on his bedroom door
upyourzlolz 11
In case of fire: 1) Lay down 2) Die
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Comments (185)
Lehk 9
borrow a dremel to take the locks off. continuously provoke fights until he hits you then call the cops and CPS
thatdesertdude 7
This makes no sense, if you are allowed to install security bars on your windows, why not a keyed lock? You can still break a window to get out, you can't exactly open up the bars if there is a fire.........
haleypiejune20 4
Last I heard, windows are made out of glass. If there is a fire, you can break the window. It's not that hard.
ddeathbombb 5
Fire fire you screwed
iceman420son 7
Hey Kayla shoot me a msg
tappm98 22
if there ever really is my fire, your mom will regret saying that for the rest of her life.
ch3s 4
If there is a fire then just dive head first through the window. You have a good chance of death or at least serious bodily harm but at least you aren't burning right? :P I guess if you Just REALLY didn't like the idea of serious bodily harm you could use a chair or something, but where is the fun in that?
DegrassixDigimon 5
LMFAO I DIED :'~D
firefighterjohn 9
light a fire in their room. you will have time if its across the house. just close your door and put wet towels around the door in the cracks. it will keep the smoke out. enough time for your fire dept to come and rescue you.
ohmandapants 17
...and you're a firefighter?...
ArrickMorris 4
Love how you are telling them how to commit arson
ydi_4_suking 20
Oh no
akle4163 8
I'm hope that doesn't happen to me...my stepfather has turned in to a real bastard recently and my mom doesn't seem to care.