Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my overprotective dad bolted all of my windows shut so that I don't turn out like my sister and sneak out or sneak boys in. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
Today, my stepmom accused me of creeping around, acting sneaky, and maybe even planning to kill her in her sleep because I’m "still angry at my dad divorcing my mom and marrying her." All I did was get up at 2 a.m. for a pee at coincidentally the same time as she was going outside for a cigarette. FML
Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML
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Top comments
swoozie23 6
Put your own lock on his bedroom door
upyourzlolz 11
In case of fire: 1) Lay down 2) Die
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Comments (185)
soccerluver315 14
Sounds like Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter...
cheerqt97 0
Sounds like my life:/
bizarre_ftw 22
Learn how to pick locks, find someone at your school that knows how (there has to be at least one person), buy a pad lock to practice on, and soon that lock won't be a problem but a reason to smile and laugh silently whenever you look the man in the eye (and I use the term 'man' loosely, tiny dicked immature brainless child seems more appropriate if he's being such a paranoid ******)
Nickramos 0
Break the window if there is a fire
Davick 0
your moms 100% right. stay quit and cut the locks. don't remove them so it looks like there still there
geod69 8
Next time close them out when you're done
m2013_fml 4
Just have Ron, Fred, and George break you out in their flying car ;)
adam_tajyar 10
He's not ur dad, so don't give a shit about what he thinks or does
nick3600 22
Set their room on fire and everything in it
djsammyc 19
my friends stepdad built her room in the basement when she was little and they needed more room for their new kids upstairs, he painted her windows shut and gave her a hammer, he took it away when she got older now she a screw driver to peel away the paint if there is a fire or intrder