Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my overprotective dad bolted all of my windows shut so that I don't turn out like my sister and sneak out or sneak boys in. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
Today, my stepmom accused me of creeping around, acting sneaky, and maybe even planning to kill her in her sleep because I’m "still angry at my dad divorcing my mom and marrying her." All I did was get up at 2 a.m. for a pee at coincidentally the same time as she was going outside for a cigarette. FML
Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML
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Top comments
swoozie23 6
Put your own lock on his bedroom door
upyourzlolz 11
In case of fire: 1) Lay down 2) Die
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Comments (185)
smilefaces8 2
Get a fire alarm or breeching charges
inlove72 11
Sounds like you have a nice family!
StonerkidDGK420 0
Like a fist
luccmon 6
I agree with the hammer idea. Just use it on your stepdad after you escape from your broken window in the event of a fire.
DancinL 14
An alarm system would just beep loudly if she opened the window i think, no need for bars...
Rachaelc23 8
It's kind of illegal to put locks on windows that can't open from the inside. It is a fire hazard. Call and report it.
KiddNYC1O 22
Major bullshit. Intolerable.
ArrickMorris 4
Who is right?
rawrisforsami 13
Rough, you're from Arizona. I hope after all the money spent on locks, you can still afford air conditioning since you can't use your windows anymore.
b0ngs 7
Step dad, WHY U NO THINK ABOUT SAFETY?!