Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my overprotective dad bolted all of my windows shut so that I don't turn out like my sister and sneak out or sneak boys in. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
Today, my stepmom accused me of creeping around, acting sneaky, and maybe even planning to kill her in her sleep because I’m "still angry at my dad divorcing my mom and marrying her." All I did was get up at 2 a.m. for a pee at coincidentally the same time as she was going outside for a cigarette. FML
Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML
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Top comments
swoozie23 6
Put your own lock on his bedroom door
upyourzlolz 11
In case of fire: 1) Lay down 2) Die
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Comments (185)
dragonmirado 12
Haha, I laughed so hard when I read the username :D
leviosarain91 0
Sounds like Vernon Dursley from Harry Potter
puppie406 23
Lol just call Fred , George and Ron!! Mischief Managed!
natural711 6
your step father? thats not even your father who the **** cares stand up to his ass, your mother shud put her foot down. locks on a window that's stupid, and immature, and a threat to your own safety under your roof. thts some bullshit
zjnoose 0
Cut the locks and get the same ones from the store and have the keys to yourself
Bobtheepicone 2
Thats kind of illegal.
theonlysweetpea 10
Logically what he did was stupid. In case of a fire, you could be in real trouble. As for "his house, his rules" like someone mentioned, who said it was his house? She might not even be a minor. Respect is respect but people truly think anyone younger (or older) than themselves don't deserve any. Though in the stepfather's defense, she could be the only (young) girl in the house
Nursewilly 0
Locks on the window? Follow these important safety steps in case of fire: Step 1: Have bolt cutters handy. Step 2: Pick up bolt cutters. Step 3: Throw bolt cutters through window. Step 4: Think about how much trouble you're now in for breaking a window, and realize that next time step-dad will put bars on the window. Step 5: FYL
miles1b 0
Look at the bright side. Now you have an excuse to break windows and get away with it
ducky42 1
Ok thank you people, I was being sarcastic retards And her step father has no rights to do that becaus he is not biologically related or legally allowed to do so. An web if it is his house, go right ahead but it's a fire hazard. Learn sarcasm assholes
jujubean0531 5
Call the fire department for a safety inspection ?