Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was doing a family genealogy project. I accidentally discovered that my grandfather couldn't possibly be my mom’s biological father. When I started asking questions, my mom flipped shit, confronted her mom, and the whole mess came out. Now everyone is pissed at me. FML
Today, I found out that my grandmother desecrated my grandfather's grave. 14 years after his death, she dug up his body and had him cremated so that she could sell his plot back to the cemetery for money. I was the one who found out so I had to tell the rest of the family. FML
Today, via Ancestry, I learned I am distantly related to my boss. Did it bring us closer? Did it buggery. My boss is a vindictive harpy at the best of times and now she knows we share a great-great-grandmother, she hates me even more because “my side of the family blah blah blah…” FML
Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML
Today, I told my grandmother I was planning a trip to take my newborn son to meet his great-great-grandfather before it was too late. She had a guilty expression on her face. My great-grandfather died 4 months ago and my family forgot to tell me. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, I took a DNA test and it turns out that the person who I thought was my dad is not my actual dad and my real dad is his best friend. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
I hope you're not going to blame your best friend for it, darling. As shocking as the news is, it's in the past.
hichbg_fml 0
The question is : were they also best friends?
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Comments (131)
missymoo0430 0
wow that's pretty crazy. it really is a small world... wouldn't dismiss the six degrees of separation theory either!!
RedPillSucks 33
So...? Unless you're the Hatfields and the McCoys, I don't see what the point is on dwelling on this. Just about any group of families who can trace their geneology back a ways in the same general location are going to run into stuff like this (your great -blah raped/murdered/stole from my great-blah). If you're really friends then go with that.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Screaming at your friend (while dressed as a Civil War general; Confederate, of course), "I will avenge you!" before you shoot a loaded cannon at him is A LOT more fun, IMO. This is especially true if this friend gives you crap at a public event such as a fundraiser, a concert, or a Swedish fish market demonstration.
20waffleater10 0
that is awesome, you should follow in his footsteps. please take nothing I say seriously unless the serious stuff I am saying is serious but you won't know the serious from the non serious. just trust me when I say somethin is serious or isn't and what I have said way up there ^ is not serious.
lordslaya53 14
irony win
kportal69 5
look friendship does stay in the family. so now get revenge and murder your best friend!! :D
jailbot 7
Maybe the next time you have a stupid story that doesn't affect your life in any way and is merely amusing/interesting you should post it on MLIA.
Zebidee 9
I swear OP, if you don't practice the "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya..." quote, you're wasting the best comedy opportunity in history! Look on the bright side - your friend is descended from a murderer, you're just descended from some dude. It'd be a lot more awkward the other way around.
TahoeFMler 22
Oh my gosh! That would a funny ass way to tell the friend the story at least!
20waffleater10 0
better watch out your friend could be buffalo bill!
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
REVENGE! mwaahaha!!!!!
goodlike_fml 0
i found out that obama is from my family...and im french.