Today, my youngest of four children turned 18. It was also the...

By Anonymous - 27/07/2019 16:00

Today, my youngest of four children turned 18. It was also the same day that my ex-wife called to tell me that after 18 years of paying child support, I wasn't the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 685

You deserved it 154

Dysfunctional

Dementia or hate? You decide

Kids these days…

It never rains…

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 17:01

Today, it's my ninth day off work. I should have been back 4 days ago, but whilst resting a swollen knee at home, I got a hair stuck in my eye so badly that I had to go to A&E at 4 a.m. to get it taken out. Now work won't let me come back until the resulting conjunctivitis clears up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 101

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 917

You deserved it 2 976

By insightful - 20/03/2012 04:33 - Australia

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 179

You deserved it 10 999

By Anonymous - 28/07/2012 16:02 - United States - South Bend

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 332

You deserved it 6 067

By Whatdididowrong? - 10/05/2011 05:18

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 281

You deserved it 12 335

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 01:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 310

You deserved it 2 918

By heshay - 28/10/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 662

You deserved it 3 526

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:40 - United States - Riverview

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 856

You deserved it 5 897

By retard99 - 21/03/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 305

You deserved it 53 141

By BMTH2296 - 21/03/2014 23:42 - United States

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 344

You deserved it 8 396

By Anonymous - 15/11/2012 14:54 - United States - Erie

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 532

You deserved it 49 425

By the forgotten one - 30/01/2012 03:01 - United States

Today, my grandfather sent everyone in my family an email thanking them for the photo we got him. I'd bought the frame, edited the picture, and delivered it to him. All everyone else did was show up and complain while the picture was being taken. I'm the only one who didn't get a thank you email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 963

You deserved it 2 311

Ghosted

By LunaRayne13 - 10/09/2020 08:02

Today, I realized it's been over a month since my last therapy session. My therapist canceled on me and never got back in touch to reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 181

By faaail - 24/03/2015 16:51 - Ireland - Cork

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 3 950

By Anonymous - 04/06/2016 14:52 - United States - Bethlehem

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 951

You deserved it 934

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 660

You deserved it 20 616

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 3 916

By minecraftwilldie - 02/06/2011 16:52 - United States

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 104

You deserved it 14 669

By chanclepants - 27/01/2010 13:35 - France

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 353

You deserved it 14 037

By Flaps - 27/11/2010 12:36 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 029

You deserved it 38 492

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 058

You deserved it 9 170

By dabull - 27/04/2013 05:02 - United States

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 844

You deserved it 4 016

Some things haven't changed

By Jonathan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Denmark

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 435

You deserved it 10 148

By Anonymous - 08/03/2014 01:16 - United States - Newton Center

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 490

You deserved it 6 883

By Jbheller - 03/05/2015 00:08 - United States - Mountain Top

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 3 107

By hunter168647 - 02/07/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 132

You deserved it 8 554

By G-6 - 07/01/2011 11:24

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 054

You deserved it 30 459

By troubleintoyland - 24/12/2010 03:03 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 750

You deserved it 9 510

Scraping by

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 009

You deserved it 4 983

By 2broke4ajoke - 29/11/2018 13:30

Today, after starting my new career as a server, two women were kind enough to leave a $5 tip... while still owing $6.84 on their bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 148

By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 546

You deserved it 2 972

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 906

You deserved it 9 380

By Janitor - 08/03/2012 01:08 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 253

You deserved it 3 871

Customers from hell

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 06:01

Today, an older customer ran up to me and did a open-mouthed, panting growl in my face, with her face 2 inches from my mine. She then laughed and said, “I only do this to men” and then left the store without buying anything. My mask was down and she didn’t have one at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 221

Just a friend

By UnluckyTh1rteen - 27/08/2020 14:19 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend went to get coffee with a friend. As a joke, I texted him to ask how his date with his other girlfriend was going. It really was a date, and apparently it went very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 180

By Idk anymore - 23/07/2019 17:00 - United States - Modesto

Today, I came out to my parents. My mom and dad think that I'm lying, just so I could "fit in" with everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 315

By Noname - 21/02/2009 07:34 - United States

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 105

You deserved it 58 196

By Datingdisaster - 17/08/2018 01:30

Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 602

You deserved it 271

By Anonymous - 23/05/2009 19:37 - United States

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 203

You deserved it 3 840

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 14:09 - Hong Kong

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 409

You deserved it 8 919

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Top comments

mas12806 22

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Saturday 27 July 2019 17:52

If she knew the whole time, you maybe can sue her

bl3ur0z3 17

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Saturday 27 July 2019 18:23

Did you love this child as your own? Do you have a relationship with this child? Parenting is about more than the money, you got all the benefits of being a parent too. Focus on that.

RichardPencil 30

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Saturday 27 July 2019 17:16

You should have gone to Maury years ago!

mas12806 22

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Saturday 27 July 2019 17:52

If she knew the whole time, you maybe can sue her

Ksweety_fml 27

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Saturday 27 July 2019 18:00

Can she go to jail for that? because that's fucked up.

Memnoc 26

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Saturday 27 July 2019 18:08

If she knew all along, I would think that could be a felony. At a minimum he should be able to get repaid everything he paid in child support, plus interest over all those years.

bl3ur0z3 17

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Saturday 27 July 2019 18:20

No. They were married and, in the eyes of the law, he was the father unless his paternity was challenged either by him, her, or the actual father. At least in most states.

bl3ur0z3 17

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Saturday 27 July 2019 18:23

Did you love this child as your own? Do you have a relationship with this child? Parenting is about more than the money, you got all the benefits of being a parent too. Focus on that.

julfunky 29

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Saturday 27 July 2019 21:37

Agreed. While it sucks he was cheated on, stolen from, and lied to he still has his child. Blood or not, he is the father and the child will always see him as such. Even if he doesn’t try to sue he can take some solace in the fact that he helped raise this child. The money he spent wasn’t wasted.

alyak98 31

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Sunday 28 July 2019 5:13

I don’t know if he was mad the child wasn’t his by blood, but rather he paid for child support all those years. I’d be angry too about the child support.

kfchicken 31

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Tuesday 30 July 2019 4:04

he has the right to be angry regardless of his love for the child. his anger doesn't have to be directed at the child, and if it's not then it's completely justified.

tounces7 27

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Tuesday 30 July 2019 7:55

Mother could have kept the kid from him entirely, we don't know what happened. Hell, she could have been fucking raising the kid with the real father and just using him for the money.

acmariner99 25

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Saturday 27 July 2019 18:25

How convenient. Lawyer up!

GamerChickxoxo 16

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Saturday 27 July 2019 19:21

talk to your laywer, shes gonna have a nice time paying you back, enjoy your new car house or herion

itsthewayitis 10

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Saturday 27 July 2019 21:57

sorry but thats your own fault. dna test

pins91 27

Sunday 28 July 2019 1:02

I’m sorry, what?! Are you saying every single father out there should get a DNA test, JUST IN CASE. this isn’t his fault, it’s the ex wives.

AmbrosiaFan 18

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Sunday 28 July 2019 1:30

Sue and get that money back? Or hope that money did actually go to that child and his/her life is better because of it.

ViviMage 38

Sunday 28 July 2019 4:21

You need a lawyer to disprove you're the father. However while you can legally do this, the child support probably is paid and over with, cannot be returned, and the real father wasn't notified before the child was 18 and probably has no legal reason to actually pay it either (this happened to my cousin, he didn't know about his daughter until after she turned 18.) No child support must be owed at the time the Petition to Disestablish Paternity is filed; DNA samples are to be obtained voluntarily, or as a result of a court order; If the parents were married at the time of conception, the child must not have been conceived by artificial insemination; The child must not have been adopted while the parents were married, and The petition must be submitted within two years of the birth of the child, or it must be submitted within two years of the time the father is notified he may not be the child’s biological father. https://www.myfloridalaw.com/child-support-law/paying-child-support-not-the-father/

Iamthebanzai22 18

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Sunday 28 July 2019 8:45

From now until the end of time you will have been an honorable man and she will have been a slut. Also, she will now have to get along without your child support payment and you will have that money available in your budget. I hope Karma rides her hard.